Thursday, December 20, 2007
T.O. also hates pink jerseys
Yesterday, I had the following Gchat with HotLawyer:
At least one dude agrees with me on the pink jersey and the Jessica Simpson issue. At least one man, a bold soul named Terrell Owens, is brave enough to stand up and say that he doesn't appreciate pink Romo jerseys one bit, at the very least because there is only room for one ridiculously dressed fag hag in Texas Stadium, and that ain't Jessica Simpson. She's pouty because not only did her dumbass, overrated boyfriend deliver the worst performance of his career thanks to her game-killing presence, but because T.O. looks waaaaaaay cuter than her in his sexy women's wear from NFLshop.com:
T.O. had some choice words for Jessica:
Keep in mind this is coming from a guy whose love for drag queenish blondes is so legendary that it became the most controversial opening for a Monday Night Football game ever. Remember that shit where T.O. ditches the game to go bang Nicolette Sheridan in the Eagles' locker room from two years ago? Here's the YouTube to refresh your memory (and I dare you not to snicker when T.O. says, "Donovan needs me." Hilarious.)
Given Terrell's susceptibility to seduction by such bitches who look like they have to pull a Buffalo Bill-style weiner tuck before getting some pregame ass in the locker room, I'm surprised he's not competing with Tony Romo for Jessica's attention. I would say that it's both because her ass was preventing Romo from completing passes to T.O. in triple coverage, and because he can't get past that fugly, embarrassing, despicable pink Romo jersey! If she'd worn nothing but a towel to ruin the Cowboys' offense in, maybe he'd be more sympathetic.
In any event, T.O. promises more good times in the coming weeks:
Oh, and I have a message too: GO SEAHAWKS!
HotLawyer: RazzyI consulted also with my ex-boyfriend Benzo, and he was of the opinion that pink jerseys aren't awesome, but he doesn't care one way or the other. "If I see a hot chick wearing a pink jersey, I'm not going to ignore her just because she's got a pink jersey on." I was totally annoyed that my boys didn't share my staunch anti-pink jersey sentiments. Then again, I can't be too annoyed at a man who squires his lady around Tacoma wearing his-and-hers Tatupu jerseys. I should actually be thankful we don't share the same opinion on this one, as his taste is clearly questionable.
HotLawyer: Princess HotLawyer owns and wears a PINK Tatupu jersey
Razzy: hey dude
Razzy: tell Princess HotLawyer to chuck that
Razzy: those pink jerseys are shameful!
HotLawyer: they're hot
Razzy: you really think those pink jerseys are hot?
HotLawyer: yes
Razzy: NO!
Razzy: they are the scourge of nfl pro gear
HotLawyer: They rule your ass
Razzy: never
HotLawyer: Plus, we don't look like douchebags when we sport our matching Lofa jerseys
HotLawyer: Lofa! Lofa!
Razzy: you already look like a douchebag wearing the same jersey as your GF!
HotLawyer: trick, please!
At least one dude agrees with me on the pink jersey and the Jessica Simpson issue. At least one man, a bold soul named Terrell Owens, is brave enough to stand up and say that he doesn't appreciate pink Romo jerseys one bit, at the very least because there is only room for one ridiculously dressed fag hag in Texas Stadium, and that ain't Jessica Simpson. She's pouty because not only did her dumbass, overrated boyfriend deliver the worst performance of his career thanks to her game-killing presence, but because T.O. looks waaaaaaay cuter than her in his sexy women's wear from NFLshop.com:
T.O. had some choice words for Jessica:
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite -- in this locker room or in Texas Stadium. With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away. Other than that, she was high on my list until last week."Translation: Bitch, take your stank, talentless, pink jersey-wearing ass back to wherever Tony Romo's last dumb blonde country-fried bimbo girlfriend went and let him get his mind off your herpetic punani and back on completing passes to me. Up until last week, I would have been willing to tap that ass, but now she's dead to me.
Keep in mind this is coming from a guy whose love for drag queenish blondes is so legendary that it became the most controversial opening for a Monday Night Football game ever. Remember that shit where T.O. ditches the game to go bang Nicolette Sheridan in the Eagles' locker room from two years ago? Here's the YouTube to refresh your memory (and I dare you not to snicker when T.O. says, "Donovan needs me." Hilarious.)
Given Terrell's susceptibility to seduction by such bitches who look like they have to pull a Buffalo Bill-style weiner tuck before getting some pregame ass in the locker room, I'm surprised he's not competing with Tony Romo for Jessica's attention. I would say that it's both because her ass was preventing Romo from completing passes to T.O. in triple coverage, and because he can't get past that fugly, embarrassing, despicable pink Romo jersey! If she'd worn nothing but a towel to ruin the Cowboys' offense in, maybe he'd be more sympathetic.
In any event, T.O. promises more good times in the coming weeks:
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."The message will be something along the lines of, "Keep your pink jersey-rocking ho ass the fuck out of Texas Stadium, bitch," except delivered with Terrell's signature panache. Truly, the playoffs cannot come fast enough.
Oh, and I have a message too: GO SEAHAWKS!
Labels: assholes, Benzo, hot dudes, HotLawyer, media whores, NFL football, oh the horror, Seahawks, sluts
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