Monday, January 28, 2008

 

Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Sergio Cool Jew-Bagel


Name: Sergio Cool Jew-Bagel

DOB: November 2007

Occupation: being sickeningly cute

Hometown: Covington, Louisiana

Current residence: casa de Cool Jew-Bagel, New Orleans, Louisiana

Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: I'm not so sick and depraved as to be into bestiality--especially not with puppies--so I don't really want to hit Sergio, but I simply had to weigh in on how FUCKING OBSCENELY, RIDICULOUSLY CUTE LL Cool Jew and BigBagel's new puppy is. I got a call from LL Cool Jew to check my e-mail a while back, and found this letter:
Hi,
My name is Sergio, and I am the newest member of the Cool Jew-Bagel family. I weigh about 2 pounds and like my new big sister, I am a long-hair chihuahua. I am about 9 weeks old and was born in Covington, La.
Here are some pictures of me.
In the first one, I am showing my ability to mug for the camera, or at the very least be really freaked out by that giant human shoving it in my face and making funny noises.

In the second photo, my new sister is showing how excited she is to meet me.

[RAZZY Note: Dulcinea, Sergio's big sister--if 5 pounds can be considered "big"--looks so pissed off in this picture. I can almost hear her saying, "Momay, who is this rellay weird little dog? Where's Caese and CHONGAY!?" I can also almost smell the urine that undoubtedly started dribbling from one or both of these dogs onto BigBagel's 501s.]
In the third photo, I take my first bath. It sucked.

In the final photo, there I am with the scary but warm lady who keeps making coo-ing noises.

Anyway, nice to meet you! I hope you make it to New Orleans soon to see me in person.
-Sergio
Sergio is a hot, fluffy little piece. If my apartment weren't already overrun with dogs, I'd want one of those little 2-pound feather dusters for my very own. For one thing, it would be nice to have a small dog that is actually small (versus one that weighs in at a monstrous THIRTY pounds like Chingy! the Hutt, who is presently putting my feet to sleep and snoring loud enough to sound like a fucking wood chipper...CHONGAY CHONG, Sergio!). For another, I'm just a sucker for cute puppies. I can't wait until Sergio gets to meet his Auntie Razzy. Looks like a trip to New Orleans is in my near future.

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# posted by Razzy @ 7:15 AM
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