Thursday, January 31, 2008
For anyone who ever wondered what a pencil dick looks like
I had to take a quick break from smoting rhinovirus 1A's ruin upon the mountainside because James McBride continues to fish for traffic on my comment pages by somehow suggesting that pictures of his dick there will be the perfect finisher for a lengthy tirade about how much he hates Barack Obama because...you guessed it, Barack Obama is black! Oh, and even though Barack Obama isn't Muslim, his name sounds KIND OF like "Osama" and that's good enough for James.
Anyway, I don't want James getting traffic, and frankly, I'll sacrifice myself so you don't have to endure the horror of his site, where you can witness nasty shit like low-quality webcam shorts of his fug wife fucking him with a dildo or licking his hammer toes. GROSS! So I went ahead and posted pictures of his much-touted wang. Then I took a long shower. Not just a quick spin under the showerhead to freshen up, but the kind of frantically scrubbing shower that rape victims in Lifetime movies take post-attack. And even after scrubbing myself raw, I still can't entirely stop myself from involuntary repulsed shuddering.
Take a good look at Jaimie's dick. While it is longer than I thought it would be (I had him pegged--pun intended--as a four-incher, but I'll give it to him that he's got at least five and a half), this is a textbook case of what I call PENCIL DICK. That shit is skinny! And unsatisfying, and I know every lady who has suffered the misfortune of fucking one feels me. A long pencil dick is the worst. It takes sex--which is normally fun and enjoyable--into somthing akin to making a cervix kabob. Nast. In addition to its distressingly small diameter, James McBride's phallus has not one but two undesirable qualities: it also has a burl! So not only is his dick too skinny, it's malformed! No wonder his wife is so partial to her dildo collection.
As if this wasn't unappealing enough, let me just point out strike three. Before frightening everyone who made the mistake of going to his site, this penis was buried firmly in the ass of every HIV-infected skinhead at Elmira. The only thing that turns me on about this cock is that I could probably get a first-author paper culturing previously unknown strains of herpes simplex out of it. I'm sure I could at least publish it in some shitshow like the Journal of General Virology. James's weiner is gorgeous from the perspective of someone looking to study novel clinical isolates of pathogens sexually transmitted from one incarcerated felon to another. And on that note, I think I'm going to skip lunch. I've lost my appetite anyway.
***SHUDDER***
Anyway, I don't want James getting traffic, and frankly, I'll sacrifice myself so you don't have to endure the horror of his site, where you can witness nasty shit like low-quality webcam shorts of his fug wife fucking him with a dildo or licking his hammer toes. GROSS! So I went ahead and posted pictures of his much-touted wang. Then I took a long shower. Not just a quick spin under the showerhead to freshen up, but the kind of frantically scrubbing shower that rape victims in Lifetime movies take post-attack. And even after scrubbing myself raw, I still can't entirely stop myself from involuntary repulsed shuddering.
Take a good look at Jaimie's dick. While it is longer than I thought it would be (I had him pegged--pun intended--as a four-incher, but I'll give it to him that he's got at least five and a half), this is a textbook case of what I call PENCIL DICK. That shit is skinny! And unsatisfying, and I know every lady who has suffered the misfortune of fucking one feels me. A long pencil dick is the worst. It takes sex--which is normally fun and enjoyable--into somthing akin to making a cervix kabob. Nast. In addition to its distressingly small diameter, James McBride's phallus has not one but two undesirable qualities: it also has a burl! So not only is his dick too skinny, it's malformed! No wonder his wife is so partial to her dildo collection. As if this wasn't unappealing enough, let me just point out strike three. Before frightening everyone who made the mistake of going to his site, this penis was buried firmly in the ass of every HIV-infected skinhead at Elmira. The only thing that turns me on about this cock is that I could probably get a first-author paper culturing previously unknown strains of herpes simplex out of it. I'm sure I could at least publish it in some shitshow like the Journal of General Virology. James's weiner is gorgeous from the perspective of someone looking to study novel clinical isolates of pathogens sexually transmitted from one incarcerated felon to another. And on that note, I think I'm going to skip lunch. I've lost my appetite anyway.
***SHUDDER***
Labels: assholes, gross, Razzy Haters, small penises, weiners
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Dude you owe me 7 bucks for the chicken and broccoli I just threw up. That shit is just all kinds of wrong.
Re: why does it look like there's a face in his nutsack?
That's jesus. He's telling you enough with the jacking off and internet porn. Trust brother, I know.
That's jesus. He's telling you enough with the jacking off and internet porn. Trust brother, I know.
# posted by 
: 2/01/2008 10:08 PM
: 2/01/2008 10:08 PM
Any guy that shaves off all his pubic hair to make his dick look bigger has serious self-esteem issues. His dick kind of looks like a deformed prepubescent cock. Nothing makes a girl hotter than an eight-year-old boys malformed dick.
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# posted by : 2/03/2008 10:20 PM
: 2/03/2008 10:20 PM Links to this post:
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