RazzyBlog: Nothing says "murdering drug dealer" like this outfit

Monday, January 28, 2008

Nothing says "murdering drug dealer" like this outfit

Meet William Torres. All I have to say is that it's a good thing Michael Kors isn't somehow involved in dispensing justice, because I can only imagine the snide remarks that would issue down from the bench to a defendant dressed like this:

He was just arrested in Allentown, Pennsylvania and charged with drug dealing and double homicide. He apparently didn't have a very high opinion of the cops' ability to catch him, because when they broke down his door and took him into custody, he didn't have time to change out of his giant fuzzy slippers. Seriously, each of those slippers looks like it should start belting out "In the ciiiiiiiircle of life, it's the wheel of fortune..."

Somehow, I don't think even the double murder rap he's facing is going to give him a lot of credibility with the hardened criminals down at the jail with that kind of footwear. Certainly if I were a violent felon looking to get my prison rape on I'd totally call first dibs on old Simba-slippers and make a beeline for the showers or the laundry room or wherever forcible sodomy between incarcerated criminals is wont to occur. I'm thinking William Torres is going to have a rough go of things if he can't post bail before his trial. Besides, it's not like those pussy feet have any air of real intimidation, like, say, THESE slippers would:

Frankly, no matter how long I'd been the slammer, I'd make a point to avoid dropping my soap anywhere near the vicinity of a dude wearing CHINGY! slippers, if only because they emit an aura of revulsion that can't be washed off.

CHONGAY CHONG, lion slippers!

Labels: CHONGAY CHONG, comeuppance, crime and punishment, hilarious shit