Thursday, February 14, 2008
Daily Douchebag: Ray Nagin...AGAIN
RAZZY Note: this was written by BigBagel, managing editor of our Hate-On-Ray-Nagin department here in the old RAZZY.org newsroom. He is so hardcore about hating on Ray Nagin that he lives in New Orleans just to keep an eye on him, and homeskillet has an actual Pulitzer for his reportage. Seriously, this is a PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING JOURNALIST writing for my website. That's how we roll here at RAZZY.org: nothing but the best. I expect to get my own Pulitzer as soon as they invent one for blogging.
Name: Clarence Ray Nagin (on the right, with Police Superintendent Warren Riley)
DOB: June 11, 1956
Occupation: 68th Mayor of the City of New Orleans, Louisiana
Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana
Current residence: New Orleans, Louisiana
Douchebaggery: (Better question for Nagin: Non-douchebaggery? )
This is Monsieur Nagin’s second trip to douchebag lane, so I thought it best to switch things up a bit and make it a photo caption contest. There’s so many places to go with Nagin's fucktardedness, I’m gonna struggle to remain focused on the above photo. Mostly, dear fellow Razzyphiles, I felt that this photo was too precious for the whole world not to see.
And I’d like you to view and caption this photo in the following context: Even though NOLA is down about 40% from its pre-Katrina population, the city has recaptured the title of America’s "murder capital", according to the FBI. (By that, they mean most murders per capita.) The city recorded a total of 209 homicides in 2007. Now to do a bit of crude math for you all, that means there’s about .696 murders per 1,000 population, making New Orleans more dangerous than the countries of Colombia and South Africa, and more than twice as dangerous as Jam-Rock Jamaica!
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_mur_percap-crime-murders-per-capita
So you’re probably asking yourself, is Nagin worried? Can he speak to us here in Razzyland? He can, in his own words: "Do I worry about it? Somewhat. It's not good for us, but it also keeps the New Orleans brand out there, and it keeps people thinking about our needs and what we need to bring this community back. So it is kind of a two-edged sword."
I was just wondering to myself if I should put the above picture into it's true context….nah! Considering the stakes of the game Nagin’s playing and the number of opportunistic self-serving fuck-ups he’s committed, I don’t think he’s earned any benefit of the doubt anymore. So without further ado I’m gonna end this and skip to my favorite captions from the NOLA.com blog this photo first appeared on and some a caption from colleagues at work. I encourage you Razzyphiles out there to come up with your own.
My favorite (from a colleague): "God this brings back memories, huh Ray? Remember we used one of these in our first convenience store hold up back in '78, out on Crowder. Man, that white bitch was so scared, I thought she was going to crap her pants."
My (pathetic) attempt: “No, really, I ain’t fuckin’ playin. Gimmee yo’ goddamn money.”
My favorite from the blog it first appeared on: "OK, lets go find Marc Morial!!"
(Morial=previous mayor of NOLA.)
Another good one: “City leaders unveil new throws for next years' Mardi Gras.”
So what you got, people of Razzyland?
[RAZZY Note #2: LL Cool Jew sent me this take on it. It's my favorite:
So get down to business coming up with captions of your own. LL Cool Jew says that she'll give me alcohol if I help her win the leftover plastic Mardi Gras tiara that her co-workers are offering to the best entry in their office caption contest. And if you didn't have enough douchebaggery on Nagin, read the article that was originally attached to this picture in the Times-Picayune (favorite newspaper name ever). Nagin actually takes time out of his photo op to welcome the NBA All-Stars to the city. With an assault rifle playfully pointed at the superintendent of the NOPD. Nice.]
!!!First ever Daily Douchebag photo caption contest!!!
(winner will bask in eternal glory)
(winner will bask in eternal glory)
Name: Clarence Ray Nagin (on the right, with Police Superintendent Warren Riley)
DOB: June 11, 1956
Occupation: 68th Mayor of the City of New Orleans, Louisiana
Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana
Current residence: New Orleans, Louisiana
Douchebaggery: (Better question for Nagin: Non-douchebaggery? )
This is Monsieur Nagin’s second trip to douchebag lane, so I thought it best to switch things up a bit and make it a photo caption contest. There’s so many places to go with Nagin's fucktardedness, I’m gonna struggle to remain focused on the above photo. Mostly, dear fellow Razzyphiles, I felt that this photo was too precious for the whole world not to see.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_mur_percap-crime-murders-per-capita
So you’re probably asking yourself, is Nagin worried? Can he speak to us here in Razzyland? He can, in his own words: "Do I worry about it? Somewhat. It's not good for us, but it also keeps the New Orleans brand out there, and it keeps people thinking about our needs and what we need to bring this community back. So it is kind of a two-edged sword."
I was just wondering to myself if I should put the above picture into it's true context….nah! Considering the stakes of the game Nagin’s playing and the number of opportunistic self-serving fuck-ups he’s committed, I don’t think he’s earned any benefit of the doubt anymore. So without further ado I’m gonna end this and skip to my favorite captions from the NOLA.com blog this photo first appeared on and some a caption from colleagues at work. I encourage you Razzyphiles out there to come up with your own.
My favorite (from a colleague): "God this brings back memories, huh Ray? Remember we used one of these in our first convenience store hold up back in '78, out on Crowder. Man, that white bitch was so scared, I thought she was going to crap her pants."
My (pathetic) attempt: “No, really, I ain’t fuckin’ playin. Gimmee yo’ goddamn money.”
My favorite from the blog it first appeared on: "OK, lets go find Marc Morial!!"
(Morial=previous mayor of NOLA.)
Another good one: “City leaders unveil new throws for next years' Mardi Gras.”
So what you got, people of Razzyland?
[RAZZY Note #2: LL Cool Jew sent me this take on it. It's my favorite:
Labels: BigBagel, Daily Douchebag, Dirrty Dirrty, guns, LL Cool Jew, politics
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According to my calculation, only 30% of the New Orleans population is white. If we take these things out cracker hunting during the daytime we will finally have our chocolate city after all!
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: 2/14/2008 1:02 PM
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