Monday, February 18, 2008
Daily Douchebag: Redtube
DOB: 2007 (?)--that's when I discovered its existence
Occupation: purveyor of free pornography
Hometown: the internets
Current residence: the internets
Douchebaggery: Normally I'm a big fan of redtube.com, which is one of my go-to clearinghouses for free online porn. On Saturday night, I went on a romantic date with this guy who took me out to dinner, then out for drinks, and then back to his crib for a nightcap/hot sex. We did actually have a nightcap before the hot sex started, and while we were sipping our drinks, somehow we wound up on his computer looking at porn. Like I said, it was very romantic. Actually, it didn't start off as watching porn so much as debating whether or not this clip of a naked chick streaking onto a soccer pitch and scoring a goal was a fake or not. Somehow, our discussion of porn tube sites revealed my extensive knowledge of them, and the conversation eventually found its way to Belladonna sticking a baseball bat up her ass. I said, "Here, let me look it up, I know it's on RedTube."
I scrolled to the top of the page to enter "Belladonna" in the search box, but couldn't find it. Shockingly, RedTube got rid of their search function! I looked all over the page, thinking I was missing something. Nope. The search box was no longer where it was supposed to be at the top of the page. Bullshit!
This really annoys me. According to the porn gossip internets, this may have something to do with porn industry big shots taking action against tube sites like RedTube for piracy. Okay, so MAYBE all the non-amateur shit on RedTube is copyrighted and posting it there is technically illegal. However, I don't see how being able to search through all the pirated content there is contributing to it. If piracy is the problem, why doesn't RedTube just remove trademarked material that gets flagged, much the way YouTube constantly takes down Tom Cruise Scientology videos? Now I just have to be content with sorting through whatever videos on RedTube have been recently uploaded, and that's no fun. What am I supposed to do on a day when I feel like seeing Jenna Haze taking it up the ass and nobody has uploaded any illegal Jenna Haze anal footage lately? Sure, I like the element of surprise, but on days when I'm in the mood for something specific, like an all-cheerleader lesbian orgy or a scene from inTERActive, I don't want to sort through 50,000 amateur scenes with titles like "Wife gives blow job" or "Handjob from German amateurs."
Furthermore, even without the search, it's still quite simple finding scenes from obviously copyrighted porn movies. For example, here's a scene of Peter North and some other guy DPing a chick, and as he's the most recognizable male name in the industry next to Ron Jeremy, Peter North isn't filming a damn second for free. Here's a pretty boring lesbian scene with Jenna Jameson (before she got ugly) with Sunrise Adams, and it was obviously shot when they were both Vivid contract stars. And here's my favorite porn chick Briana Banks demonstrating her superior acting skills with an assumed Southern accent ("it's they-ur weddin' day, silly...they're gonna be up there till the cock crow-uhs") and taking it every which way by a pool. All of these famous porn stars didn't wake up one day and decide to post amateur videos to RedTube for free. Some dude at home jerking off ripped these off the DVD (or more likely, a usenet group where these were already being illegally shared) and posted them to RedTube. In fact, half the scenes that claim to be "amateur" actually have well-known porn stars in them. Even without the search function, finding glaring examples of copyright infringement on RedTube is not hard. So bring back the search!
Labels: computer incompetence, Daily Douchebag, internet domination, porn
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