Sunday, March 23, 2008
Christ is risen like a honey first thing in the morning
Happy Jesus Resurrection Day, everyone! My Easter wasn't as great as last year's, in which I missed church because I was brutally, paralyzingly hung over from LL Cool Jew's epic wedding, then I ate a Easter dinner of pepperoni pizza, beer, and pussy. This Easter was a little more traditional. I went to Mass, ate some bacon and eggs, and then watched some basketball and drank beers with some grad school peeps, including my go-to Catholic pals SisterChristian and G-Cat. SisterChristian is much better at being Catholic than I am, since I'm a total CEO (Christmas-Easter only). She even went to the Easter Vigil the night before, something I avoid like the plague on account of it being longer than an extended edition Lord of the Rings movie, and way less exciting on account of its lacking epic battles, the horse-lords of the Riddermark, or Gimli son of Gloin. There's usually an hour and a half of random baptisms alone during the Easter Vigil, but SisterChristian isn't deterred in her quest to have a good church attendance record.
Luckily, she's not so devout that she gets annoyed when I make wisecracks about the liturgical proceedings. In fact, she giggles at them. She told me that when G-Cat and I started snickering about the hymn lyrics from "Victimae Paschali Laude" (specifically, "angelicos testes") she had to determinedly look away to avoid laughing uncontrollably through the renewal of baptismal vows. She's perfected the skill of averting her gaze at religious events, because she spent some of her childhood in the Philippines, where they actually crucify people to celebrate Holy Week. I think she's glad to be able to look away to avoid laughing about her church buddies' sacrilegious commentary rather than seeing the horrifying sight of some extremely pious volunteer getting nailed to a cross. When G-Cat started making jokes about how the priest sprinkled us with holy water with what appeared to be a bunch of arugula and I stage-whispered "IT BURNS!" upon getting splashed, she couldn't hold back any longer. Mass was a rollicking good time.
I need to make irreverent jokes during church to keep it fresh and fun. Every year it's pretty much the same story: Mary Magdalene goes to the tomb while it's still dark to spray JC's body with spices or something, the tomb's empty, and the VIP apostles stand around scratching their heads being amazed. I wish the Catholics would mix it up once in awhile with something besides John 20: 1-9. For example, this interpretation of Christ's resurrection:
Anyway, happy Easter! Alle-fucking-lulia! Christ is risen! WOOOO HOOOO!
Labels: Catholicism, Dear God, SisterChristian
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You know, over in the Philippines on Good Friday, they put crowns of thorns on dude's heads and actualy nailed them to a cross for like 5 minutes at a time as an act of penitence. Plus, you had the self-flagellation crowd going at it until they were bloody as well, sounds like a fine Holy time for all.
where did you get that comic strip from? i'd like to know, it looks cool, i've always wanted to read the crucifixion as a graphic novel.
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