Wednesday, March 12, 2008

 

Daily Douchebag: Jenna Jameson


Name: Jenna Marie Massoli

DOB: April 9, 1974

Occupation: media whore, ex-porn whore, animal rights activist

Hometown: Las Vegas, Nevada

Current residence: Los Angeles, California

Douchebaggery: It's bad enough that Jenna Jameson has decided to follow up her epic triumphs in pornography with an excess of cut-rate plastic surgery, a severe case of anorexia nervosa, and a seemingly endless reserve of energy for attending events (runway shows for designers I've never heard of, cell phone accessory launch parties, etc.) where her grim visage might be more readily photographed commiting shameless crimes of PDA with ugly neckless ultimate fighters.  Now, to make me REALLY hate her, she has gone and done an ad campaign for PETA.

Doing an ad for PETA is the quickest way to garner my everlasting disdain.  I've gone off previously on this regarding Shirley Manson from Garbage, some dumb singer girl named Nellie McKay who made an obnoxious video for a crappy song busting on Columbia, and Girl Next Door #1 Holly (and for those of you who have been demanding Razzy vadge pics, read that last posting!).  I hate PETA because they're overbearing, totally hypocritical, dog-killing assholes.  Seriously, PETA claims that "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment," but they're fine to dispose of when you're talking about dogs brought to their shelters.  PETA vehemently opposes no-kill shelters and euthanize the majority of cats and dogs brought to their "rescue" facilities.  In 2005, they euthanized 88% of the unclaimed pets in their care.  Once they "saved" 18 rabbits and 14 roosters from a research facility and euthanized them because they didn't have the money to maintain them.  So...it's not okay to perform potentially valuable medical research on these animals, but it IS okay to kill them and throw them away?  That makes sense.  Apparently, killing animals is only acceptable to PETA when you have to meet your budget's bottom line, and get absolutely no benefit whatsoever from that animal's life.  I hate HATE HATE PETA, so now that goes for Jenna Jameson, as well.

Even worse, PETA, in all its insufferable wisdom, decided to dress Jenna up as Bettie Page, who is undoubtedly vomiting into her strained prunes at whatever old folks' home she currently resides.  Surely the legendary pinup icon doesn't appreciate being emulated in a costume cobbled together with a patent pleather bikini from the clearance bin at Fantasy World and a busted wig from Ricky's.   Jenna looks a hell of a lot more like she should be wearing a cloak and ferrying recently departed souls across the river Styx than posing for softcore 50s-era S&M erotica.  Way to go, PETA.  I'm sure leather futures are plummeting as we speak.  

This makes me want to go eat a steak, put on one of my many luxurious fur coats, and kill some mice in the name of virology.  

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# posted by Razzy @ 5:35 AM
Comments:
Since PETA is so much against testing on animals, why don't they volunteer themselves for the experiments instead? Not only would it save the animals, but it might possibly rid the world of some other useless vermin as well.

JJ
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 3/12/2008 7:13 AM
 
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