Wednesday, April 02, 2008

 

Daily Dude I Want to Hit: young John McCain


Name: Captain John Sidney McCain (U.S. Navy)

DOB: August 29, 1936

Occupation: Naval aviator, prisoner of war, American hero

Hometown: Coco Solo Naval Air Base, Panama Canal Zone

Current residence: the Straight Talk Express

Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: A lot of people have expressed their shock and disbelief every time I say that I am voting for Senator John McCain (R-AZ). Someone astutely pointed out that I may be doing so only because (R-AZ) spells "Raz," probably because my friends are all in various stages of denial about the fact that I'm a Republican (sort of).  While that gives me one MORE reason to vote for him, that isn't actually why he has my vote. I could explain all the political reasons I have for hopping aboard the Straight Talk Express, but I already have, and there's enough political pundits firing off about that in the blogosphere.  I'd rather explain yet another completely arbitrary reason I have for joining Team McCain: the dude looked fucking hot in a flight suit.

Every time I see a picture of John McCain in a classic stock photo of him back in his Navy days, I get more than a little bit turned on.  In fact, I don't know how the Viet Cong who held him captive for five years could keep their hands off him, as I'm sure he looked foxy as all hell even while playing forced Russian roulette or hanging by his thumbs, which according to The Deerhunter and Braddock: Missing in Action III are the preferred North Vietnamese torture methods.  In fact, I bet when McCain was flying missions before he was taken prisoner, he didn't even need napalm because his hotness could ignite the jungle just by getting too close to it.  

In his old age, McCain is still a hot piece, but if I could get my hands on a Delorean, some random terrorist plutonium, and a flux capacitor, trust that I'd be going 88 miles per hour back to 1973 to meet his heroic ass upon release from the Hanoi Hilton.  It would be my honor and patriotic duty to welcome him back to the land of freedom and democracy with some good, old-fashioned American pie.  JOHN! MC! CAIN!  JOHN! MC! CAIN!

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Comments:
The man is a true American patriot. The McCains have been serving this country since the Revolution; even his son is currently an enlisted(!) grunt in the Marine Corps. His record stands in stark and refreshing contrast to his competition, both of whose devotion to our country has always been dubious at best.

A big HOORAH! to the McCain family and their tireless service to our nation.
 
While Barry Obama and Hilary Rodham were gleefully writing theses denoting the failures of America and the superiority of such socialist paradises as China and the Soviet Union, Captain McCain was launching himself off the decks of aircraft carriers and downing Migs over North Vietnam. Nuff said.
 
The man's a stud, straight up. I'll take a Naval aviator over a pair of lawyers any day.
 
The man is a stud. A true man's man( no gay pun intended). BTW, did you see that Obama bowled a whopping 37 the other day? Shit my 3 year old neice could bowl a
37. IF a man is elected into the White House this year, shouldn't he at least have a set of nuts on him? 37, what fucking pussy bowls a 37?

JJ
 
Every single time I see that top pic of MAC I get unnervingly aroused. What an exquisite piece. JEEZUS H. CHRISSSSS!!!!!!!!!

I don’t get to vote – because I’m a loser Canadian - but if I could – my chad would be all for MAC. And I’d somehow swindle a job at the white house and skankify my way into that Oval Office (we pronounce it – Oh-Val -..as in “Oh, it’s VAL-erie Bertanelli”) and slither under that desk and give him the best Shania Twain he’s ever had.

Damn I’m horney.
L&L
 
Wow, he killed people and did the most horrible things that man is capable of just because some fucking politicians and warmongers told him to, yeah, that's heroic all right. Mc Cain is too fucking old to be President anyway, he would be older than Reagan was, and at least Reagan was healthy, unlike Mc Cain, so I hope you like his VP choice, because that's who you'll probably end up getting in the end.
 
Yeah Master I bet you only condone war when its in the context of a World Of Warcraft game. Get a life loser.
 
I never condone war pussy-boy, I consider it the worst shit that man can do, At least I can think for myself and am not hypnotized and controlled by lies and bullshit like your sorry ass, another one that has to hide behind anonymous like so many fuckin wimpies online. By the way, what the fuck is World Of Warcraft anyway?
 
What is this, a dirty hippy convention? Don't you have an OBGYN appointment to make, Master Underground?
 
What is this, a dirty hippy convention? Don't you have an OBGYN appointment to make, Master Underground?
 
Master U hates war because politicians tell soldiers to go and fight, but go look at his blog, that guy will flat out kill your ass while you're sleeping and not think twice about it. Then after he's done with you, he'll rape your kids and pets.

Murph
 
Holy shit Murph, you're right! That guy looks like a straight-up serial killer. Christ what a creep. I love his look - late 1980's Ottawa.
 
The Master hates John McCain because Mac looks like all the jock cool kids who used to stuff the Master in trashcans back in highschool.
 
Jesus what a bunch of pussies, not one of you can even try and refute anything I say all you can do is make smart-ass comments, but I expect that from around here now. You dumb fuckers cannot even see that my site is not a blog because you get so fucking scared of a website, something that does not even exist in reality.
The more you fucking wimps say that shit, the more you show me that I made no mistake turning my back on society many years ago, sometimes i need a rfefresher course on that, and this site reminded me that no matter how times change that society is still as uesless as ever and that those that profess "belief" iin it know zero of what they say.
By the way wuss, what ther fuck do you mean by late 1908's Ottawa, are you talking about that street two streets down from mine, Ottawa Avenue or what?
 
Nice manifesto, Ted.
 
Ted? You mean Ted Nugent? Ted Kennedy? Ted Turner? What the fuck again?
All I gotta say to all the mainstream squares around here is that you just keep on worrying about me and my iconoclastic ways while the dollar becomes worthless and the war rages on and society descends into violence and chaos all around you, just go on thinking that I alone am responsible for that just as you are told to by your beloved society and remember that I laugh at your ergotized hysteria no end and actually love that bad-ass cache that you give me, fuck, even the likes of Marilyn Manson are not accused of these things like you brainwashed blowhards say I am responsible for, as I have seen that 21st century society is doomed to destruction by the fuckwads that call themselves "leaders" because there are endless tools and fools that swallow every fucked up word they have to say and then wonder why things are so shitty all the time. Razzy can have all your sorry asses with my compliments, all I want is for you lame fuckers to get the fuck out of my way and stay out of it with your useless hysteria and bullshit.
 
I believe the 1980's Ottawa comment - (which mde me laugh so hard I almost sneezed my whiskey sour out my nose) is in reference to Ottawa - the capital of Canada. You know - Joseph Philippe Pierre Yves Elliott Trudeau - Prime Minister of Canada - 1968 to 1979, and from 1980 to 1984. Talk about a HOT PIECE!

Some people!!!
*Huff*

L&L
 
Anon got the joke.

Ted as in Kaczynski, a recluse, shut-in psycho whose insane ramblings eerily parallel your own, Master Underground. Now don't you have some kids to touch inappropriately or a pipe bomb to build? Something else to do other than spread your own personal brand of crazy all over the comments page?
 
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