Monday, March 03, 2008
Pour out some Frapp for Britney and Adnan
The Sun reports that at last, the greatest romance of our age has come to a close. It seems that the legendary Ms. Britney Spears finally gave Adnan Ghalib his walking papers after discovering sexy texts from some other skank on Adnan's iPhone:
Britney ditches her British loverI love reading British gossip just because there's always terms that are strange--and thus hilarious--to me, like "blazing row" and "Brummie." Seriously, what the hell does "Brummie" mean? I don't recall ever seeing or hearing that from one of my guides to British-speak (Harry Potter books, British people I know, and Morrissey songs). "Brummie" has an even less obvious meaning than "swotty," a term that confounded me for years until my friend Rack's boyfriend explained it to me.
By EMILY SMITH
US Editor
RAGING BRITNEY SPEARS hurled her British lover’s new £300 iPhone into her POOL after finding saucy texts on it from another woman.
She dumped paparazzi photographer ADNAN GHALIB following a blazing row, convinced he was cheating on her.
But before she ordered him from her home in the Hollywood hills, she grabbed the Apple gadget and threw it in the water.
An insider told how Toxic singer Britney, 26, confronted Brummie Adnan after two video clips showing him out with mystery girls were posted on internet blogs.
In one, he was caught briefly holding hands with a woman as they left a restaurant.
Britney then checked his iPhone — and saw the sexy texts.
The insider said: “There were about a dozen from one girl, all sent on one day.
“They were pretty saucy stuff with sexual references — certainly not the sort you’d send to just a friend.
“Britney lost it and started yelling.
“She was demanding to know who sent the texts and shouting, ‘What’s this about? You’re cheating on me’.
“Adnan said the girl was just a friend, but Britney got more and more angry. Then she told him, ‘That’s it. It’s over’.
IT was a heart-warming love story for our time.
Adnan fell for pop princess Britney the moment he set eyes on her through his long lens - then charmed his way into her life.
But The Sun says she is better off without him. Adnan was one low-life frog who was never going to turn into a prince.
“Just before she told Adnan to go, she took the phone and threw it in the pool right in front of him. He didn’t even bother trying to get it out of the water.”
Insiders say Britney is adamant she is finished with smooth-talking Adnan, 35, who was still with his wife when he started romancing Britney late last year.
But he persuaded the singer to see him again after wooing her with love notes and a string of romantic texts.
Anyway, I say kudos to Britney for losing her Brit, because he was clearly no good. For starters, he has the dumbest facial hair I've ever seen.
It looks at best like he's playing a date rapist in a Lifetime movie, and at worst that he had a stripper's pussy transplanted onto his chin. Second, it's never a good idea to mess around with married guys. I haven't ever actually gotten with a married guy (to my knowledge), but I've gotten together with some guys who were in common-law-type marriages and it does nothing but lead to trouble and heartache. And finally, when you are Britney Spears, having repeated psychotic breaks while dating a fucking sleazebag paparazzo is probably not the road to privately recovering one's mental faculties (assuming said mental faculties existed in the first place).
Furthermore, I'd never take back any asshole who sent me this note trying to patch things up (in spite of the fact that Adnan's cursive penmanship looks disturbingly like my own):
Milky bowl of soup?! GROSS! I love me some Campbell's Cream of Mushroom as much as the next piece of Puyallup trash, but I don't want to be getting notes about it unless said note is a recipe for tuna casserole or Crock Pot pork chops. That's definitely not the way for a greasy, soul-pubed paparazzo to get back with me after I discovered his infidelities via "saucy" texts. I hope Britney has some dignity, but that's like hoping Caesar and Chingy! will finish my thesis project for me. No sense wasting time with idle and totally improbable fantasies.
Brit and Adnan will be sharing a milky bowl of soup for the photographic delight of the tabs by end of business today. Trust.
Labels: Britney Spears, celebrities, gross, media whores, sluts
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Brummie: Someone from birmingham ,or the midlands.
As someone originally from London, I know it means someone from 'up norf' and therefore likely to steal my car or shoot me. Or both.
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As someone originally from London, I know it means someone from 'up norf' and therefore likely to steal my car or shoot me. Or both.
# posted by 
: 3/03/2008 6:15 PM
: 3/03/2008 6:15 PM Links to this post:
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