Saturday, April 12, 2008
Braids by Sisqo
Robert Sylvester Kelly AKA R. Kelly AKA the R-uh/Pied Piper/King of R&B AKA the World's Greatest has released a new single called "Hair Braider,"(go listen to it) and it should go without saying that I'm totally enamored with it. Kells has managed to apply his musical alchemy to a relatively leaden topic (coiffure and personal grooming) and transmute it into pure 24 karat gold. To celebrate this achievement, Kells went ahead and applied the Midas touch to his thematically apropos braids:
I'm not really sure how much I can tolerate this matching lamé coat-and-chunky braids combo. If Kells is, as the lyrics to "Hair Braider" suggest, indeed "doing (his) hair braider," he must not be doing a very good job to deserve this style. He looks like some kind of space age Pollyanna meets Liberace. Clearly he's not tipping her enough for the braiding/stripping services. Then again, perhaps coming out of the "booty shop" with this style is the peril of multitasking dirty sex and hairdressing in the middle of the night while really, really stoned. The point is that with this hair, R. Kelly should be a good foot shorter and running around Miami singing about chicks with "dumps like a truck" and his desire to catch a stray glimpse of that thong-tha-thong-thong-thong.
His hair braider apparently is proficient at many styles, from twist-ups to extensions, and he has many styles when it comes to sex positions, but I doubt both of their resumes when I look at R. Kelly's golden tresses. I'm not feeling R. Kelly the dandy metallic bleached blonde. It's time to go back to the zigzag braids that look like spaghetti in your natural black color, Kells.
His hair braider apparently is proficient at many styles, from twist-ups to extensions, and he has many styles when it comes to sex positions, but I doubt both of their resumes when I look at R. Kelly's golden tresses. I'm not feeling R. Kelly the dandy metallic bleached blonde. It's time to go back to the zigzag braids that look like spaghetti in your natural black color, Kells.
Labels: bleach blonde, hot dudes, I LOVE IT, intentional buffoonery, overcompensation, Robert Sylvester Kelly
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Yeah, we get it: you're the blackest white girl you know. But that schtick is getting really, really tired, and that particular piece of shit is a PEDOPHILE. Why do you celebrate a pedophile? Do you approve of kid touching? He married a 15 year-old girl! Child abuse is soooooo funny!
# posted by 
: 4/13/2008 10:48 AM
: 4/13/2008 10:48 AM
No, I don't approve of "kid touching." In fact, I don't approve of kids. Kids suck. However, R. Kelly has not been convicted, and I sincerely doubt he will be. Innocent until proven guilty!
KELLS RULES!
And I don't think my skin color has anything to do with the fact that R. Kelly is the shit.
KELLS RULES!
And I don't think my skin color has anything to do with the fact that R. Kelly is the shit.
Did he or did he not marry Aaliyah when she was 15, falsifying documents in order to get the license? Is there or is there not a bootleg copy readily available on most urban street corners of R. Kelly not only fucking an underage girl, but pissing on her as well? Who else "rules", in your opinion? How about Warren Jefferies? He liked to fuck underage kids, too.
There's nothing funny about pedophilia. Why don't you go back to posting about "The Hills" or "Most Dangerous Catch" or some other shit that only lonely, 30-year-old over-grown adolescents care about.
There's nothing funny about pedophilia. Why don't you go back to posting about "The Hills" or "Most Dangerous Catch" or some other shit that only lonely, 30-year-old over-grown adolescents care about.
# posted by : 4/13/2008 11:33 PM
: 4/13/2008 11:33 PM
There's no proof that it's R. Kelly in that video, and he will probably be acquitted.
And I don't care if he married Aaliyah, he is a brilliant artist. I stand by Kells. If you don't like reading about that, or "The Hills" or "Deadliest Catch," then go find a blog written by a popular, mature 30-year-old and leave me to my lonely, overgrown adolescence.
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And I don't care if he married Aaliyah, he is a brilliant artist. I stand by Kells. If you don't like reading about that, or "The Hills" or "Deadliest Catch," then go find a blog written by a popular, mature 30-year-old and leave me to my lonely, overgrown adolescence.
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