Thursday, April 10, 2008
Daily Douchebag: my so-called contributors
DOB (respectively): 1973, 1978, 1978, 1978, 1980, 1981, 1978, 1978, and1987
Occupation: something besides helping me out in the useless bullshit department
Hometown (respectively): Northampton, Assachusetts, Columbia, South Carolina, Federal Way, Washington, Yonkers, New York, West Longbranch, New Jersey, San Francisco, California, Federal Way, Washington, Alexandria, Louisiana, and Queens, New York
Current residence (respectively): New York, New York, Brooklyn, New York, Tacoma, Washington, Yonkers, New York, New York, New York, New Orleans, Louisiana, Seattle, Washington, Washington, DC, and Queens, New York
Douchebaggery: Okay, I'm not REALLY calling you guys douchebags. It's just that last night I went to JerseyGirl's boyfriend Kodiak's birthday party, and I am having a hard time getting my sorry ass out of bed to face the world today. You guys are awesome, and I know you're busy, but now would be a great time to help a bitch out. HotLawyer and Motherbucker have never even written the posts they were once so excited to have the opportunity to bless the internets with. This week JerseyGirl said she was writing something but I have yet to see a draft on the desk I don't have. And I know it's been slow in the R. Kelly legal news department, but surely Morrissey'sHair is annoyed by something going on in the wild world of bankruptcy law that he could write. Benzo hasn't left a single bitchy comment in spite of last week's orgy of McCain adulation and that makes me wonder if he's even been keeping up with his Razzification. And okay, fine, LL Cool Jew had a big event to throw and her anniversary to celebrate, but that ho can't tell me she wasn't watching "Top Chef" last night instead of typing up something I can use here. ILoveWhiteTrash was getting drunk in the virology conference room yesterday after a particularly well-stocked thesis defense party, so I know she could have whipped something up after the beer ran out. And FalloniusMonk is always traveling for work, but she can't tell me she doesn't tote her MacBook around everywhere just like I do. That hooker was taking lessons on Mac snobbery at the Apple store, so I know she can get a wireless connection from Jacksonville, Florida or whatever other hellhole she is in getting her experiential marketing on.
Like I said before, you guys are awesome, but you'd be even MORE awesome if you wrote random Daily Douchebag entries for me to throw on the blog on days when I'm finding it challenging to be anything BUT horizontal. HINT, HINT! Get cracking.
Labels: Daily Douchebag, excuses, Razzyphiles
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