Thursday, April 17, 2008
Daily Douchebag: Team Brenda and all the other Kelly Taylor haters
DOB: various
Occupation: hating on Kelly Taylor
Hometown: various
Current residence: various
Douchebaggery: Yesterday, news broke that Jennie Garth, who played Kelly Taylor on (the greatest show in the history of television EVER) "Beverly Hills, 90210," left the cast of a CBS sitcom. The internets are abuzz about the fact that this may mean that she'll be reprising the role of a lifetime on the upcoming Bev Niner spinoff.
I am fucking EXCITED about this. I loved Kelly Marlene Taylor. Apart from being the most unfortunate spoiled princess in all of Beverly Hills (over ten years, Kelly was raped twice, burned in a fire, lured into a cult, stalked by a crazy lesbian, addicted to diet pills and cocaine, sexually harassed at the Wyatt Clinic, forced to deal with her drunk cokehead mom, cheated on, forced out of a starring role in the California University production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and miscarried a pregnancy), Kelly was a super bitchy hardcore slut. In other words, she was my hero. While Kelly became somewhat of a goody two-shoes in seasons 9 and 10, prior to that she was a force to be reckoned with when she would flip the bitch switch.
Not all my fellow Niner aficionados agree with this. HillsYes is fully in the Team Kelly camp, but many of my other friends just can't forgive Kelly for banging Dylan in cabana 5 at the Beverly Hills Beach Club while Brenda was off looking for Balzac's house, picking up smoking, and faking a bad French accent to impress Dean Cain in Paris for the summer. I agree that was kind of shitty for Kelly to sleep with her supposed best friend's boyfriend, but I can't really blame her. While he was no Steve Sanders, Dylan was a hot piece if you can get beyond all the brooding and the generally annoying drama. Besides, Brenda was such a self-righteous pain in the ass as far as Dylan was concerned, I was overjoyed when he traded up for Kelly and got Brenda to shut up.
One of the few moments I have respect for Brenda is the one in the clip below, when she famously informs Dylan and Kelly, "Look, I hate you BOTH! NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!"
However, this is insufficient to convert me to Team Brenda. I'd take Kelly contemptuously rolling her eyes saying, "This place is never again" or "He's a dork...and a pukemeister!" any day over Brenda's high-strung freaking out. All the Team Brenda Kelly Haters need to reevaluate their priorities. Kelly Taylor is the hotness and I welcome her with open arms back to the greatest zip code on the face of the earth.
Labels: Bev Niner, Daily Douchebag, hot chicks, I LOVE IT, TV
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I am a tried and true member of Team Brenda and always will be - F Team Kelly! Who can forget her wonderful waitress Laveerne, being a badass 16 yr old and running off to Mexico with Dylan, and yes telling Dylan and Kelly what was up...TEAM BRENDA FOREVS.
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# posted by 
: 4/18/2008 9:06 AM
: 4/18/2008 9:06 AM Links to this post:
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