Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: the Bellarmine Crab Feed
DOB: ???--my mother has had tickets since the 80s
Occupation: being totally awesome
Hometown: Names Gym, Bellarmine Prep, Tacoma, Washington
Current residence: same and in infamy
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Four reasons:
1. All-you-can-eat Orange Gold from the Bering Sea (which, in turn, usually reminds me of the hotness that is Captain Sig Hansen of the mighty F/V Northwestern screaming about the crab count and generally turning me on like it's his job)
2. All-you-can-drink beer
3. Seeing my junior year honors American lit teacher who is a HOT PIECE
4. I almost always get laid afterward, and this year was no exception
The Crab Feed is an annual fundraiser for my high school's Booster Athletic Fund, and I am so smitten with it that I fly 3,000 miles every year just to attend. The Feed is such a must-attend that literally you have to wait for people to die to get tickets. Luckily, my mom has had a table for 18 secured since the 80s. Therefore I am fortunate to reap the benefits of my family's connections.
In addition to the fact that I have a virtually limitless appetite for crab, beer, and the teacher who taught me to appreciate Hemingway, the Crab Feed is a veritable cornucopia of ass-getting for me. As I've shamelessly bragged about mentioned, in years past I've banged former high school classmates and had threesomes after the Feed. This year we actually left the event to bar-hop without picking up any obvious sex partners. Fortunately, Morrissey'sHair and HotLawyer brought along one of their law school friends, and I racked up yet another lucky barrister on my list of conquests. I'm sure the Jesuit priests who run my high school are very, very proud to have produced an "educated for life" graduate like myself. As usual, the Crab Feed is awesome in every possible way. I already can't wait until next spring.
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, I LOVE IT, P-N-Dub
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