Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: dirty old Danes
RAZZY Note: I couldn't find a picture of this old john so I just substituted a picture of Jack Warden from the completely underrated film Dirty Work. In this scene he stumbles out on stage during a performance of Don Giovanni and gleefully appraises the busty soprano for the benefit of the audience: "Get a load of that mountain range!"
DOB: 1930 or before, presumably
Occupation: getting off with professional ladies
Hometown: ?
Current residence: Skanderborg, Denmark
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: Today I read an article about how some old geezer made an "indecent proposal" to a staff member at the nursing home he lives at in Denmark. While the staff doesn't apparently provide those types of services for their residents, they did the next best thing: they hired him an in-call hooker.
"There was a considerable change in his demeanor after the escort girl had paid him a visit. We do this for our clients just as we offer them other services that they need as human beings," explained Inger Marie Kristensen, the facility's director.
Prostitution is legal in Denmark (as it should be everywhere), so this was basically just an instance of hiring a professional consult for services beyond the capabilities of the nursing home staff, like bringing in a masseuse or a dermatologist or whatever other type of specialist. A woman identified only as Susanne, who leads the Danish Sex-worker Association, said that prostitutes "often" visit patients at old folks' homes.
I say hats off to these horny old dudes. If I was stuck in a nursing home, I'd understandably be depressed. Nursing homes are some of the most depressing places in the world next to the Holocaust Museum. When I was in high school, my piano teacher would always have us perform a Christmas recital at a local nursing home. Apart from the fact that I HATED playing Christmas songs to begin with (as my extended family would always demand a performance during my mother's annual Christmas party), I was always so distracted by all the sad, lonely old people that I would invariably screw up my rendition of arrangement of Schubert's "Ave Maria" or whatever the hell I was playing. If I were unfortunate to be living in one of these places, I'd rather have a hooker tickling my G-spot than listen to some uncomfortable high school kid tickle the ivories any day. These old people must be doubly miserable, for both living in a nursing home and being Danish instead of Norwegian. I say let them have some happiness in the form of a pro ho.
Labels: aging, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, perversion, sex, uff da
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