Thursday, April 03, 2008
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Senator John McCain YET AGAIN
DOB: August 29, 1936
Occupation: Republican nominee for president, comedian
Hometown: Coco Solo Naval Air Base, Panama Canal Zone
Current residence: in front of his TV on Mondays at 10
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: It's official: John McCain (R-AZ) is now the world-record holder for all-time recognition "Daily Dude I Want to Hit" status, having held this esteemed title four times. He is also the only Hittable Dude to win this illustrious honor two days in a row, and the only one to have his nonagenarian mother hold this title as well. Yesterday, he took this home for being a hot fucking piece of heroic ass. Today, he's getting it for being straight-up hilarious.
Apparently yesterday, Heidi Montag, the equine-faced, fake-titted ex-BFF of Lauren Conrad from "The Hills" declared that McCain has her vote. Thank God, because I was only 99.9999999999% sure I was going to vote McCain, but now that Heidi's weighed in regarding her political allegiances, I can do my civic duty and vote for my candidate of choice entirely certain that he's the right choice for America.
When questioned about Heidi's endorsement, McCain quipped, "I'm honored to have Heidi's support, and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of 'The Hills,' especially since the new season started."
Now, that is some straight talk from Senator McCain. I'm glad to know that my friends and I aren't the only ones who gather round the idiot box every Monday night to feel smarter by watching a bunch of stupid 20-year-old skanks fuck up their years-long internships. Indeed, true American heroes like my boy Mac are riveted by Audrina's ability to recite her scripted lines with all the chutzpah of a lobotomy patient, or Whitney's mastery of asking Lauren Conrad, "So...what's, like, going on?" I would just like to know if Senator McCain is on Team LC or Team Heidi and Spencer, and whether he is as excited for the return of Justin Bobby as I am.
Thank you, Senator, for giving my trash television some credibility. The next time someone tells me that watching "The Hills" is a waste of my time on the grounds that this show is "fake," the girls on it are "really stupid," and it generally "sucks," I'm going to be like, "Oh, yeah? Well, soon-to-be PRESIDENT JOHN FUCKING MCCAIN doesn't think so." Take that, "Hills" haters!
Labels: an officer and a hot piece, Daily Dude I Want to Hit, I LOVE IT, John McCain, politics, TV
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