Thursday, May 29, 2008
Daily Douchebag: Hillary Clinton
DOB: October 26, 1947
Occupation: exaggerating self-deluder
Hometown: Park Ridge, Illinois
Current residence: the bullshit I'm annoyed with happened in Billings, Montana, but she's been acting like a total retard from sea to shining fucking sea
Douchebaggery: The other day at some rally in Montana, Hillary continued to plow through what (God willing) are the final days of her campaign with the pathetic abandon of someone fully committed to being in denial about the fact that her ass has been summarily kicked. While rallying the few remaining supporters who haven't defected to Team Obama, Hillary said the following:
“You have to ask yourself, who is the stronger candidate? And based on every analysis, of every bit of research and every poll that has been taken and every state that a Democrat has to win, I am the stronger candidate against John McCain in the fall,” she said.
Hillary leads EVERY poll? Are you fucking kidding me? What crazy delusional polls are these? Polls asking Illaryhay Intonclay exclusively who she is voting for? They must be, because shortly afterward, she compared herself to Bobby Kennedy, saying that she should stay in the race at least until June, because that's when Sirhan Sirhan put a cap in RFK's ass on the primary campaign trail. The only aspect of this comparison that's apt is that Kennedy was getting smoked in the delegate race by Hubert Humphrey just like Clinton is getting smoked by Obama.
Not that it matters to me how bad Hillary fucks up and further divides her party since I'm voting for the officer and a hot piece known as John McCain, but I continue to be astounded by the ludicrous and idiotic bullshit that issues forth from Hillary's mouth. I tried to ignore it a couple weeks ago when she said that she appeals more to undereducated "hardworking white Americans...who had not completed college" than Obama, because I don't think having the ignorant racist vote in the bag is anything to brag about. I try to ignore the overbearing, ham-handed efforts she makes at rubbing elbows with the salt of the earth, like making fun of her pantsuits and doing whiskey shots. Most of all, I try to ignore her hubristic, dogged insistence that she's somehow on the road to victory even though her supporters are fleeing like rats from a burning tenement.
For years, I've thought Hillary Clinton was a disingenuous, self-serving liar. Now, as her campaign gasps its last pathetic tidal breaths, she proves my initial opinion correct every time she opens her fat mouth. Just admit you lost, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
Labels: Daily Douchebag, Hillary Clinton, politics, retard rage
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You're actually voting for McSame? Have you been in a coma for the past 8 years? You seemed so intelligent.....
I can't wait to hear all the moronic democrats whining about how this election was stolen from them again! Of course they will never think that they did it to themselves....
# posted by 
: 5/29/2008 3:21 PM
: 5/29/2008 3:21 PM
That's the best the DNC can come up with, Xander? "Another 8 years blah, blah, blah"? I love watching Dem operatives try and shoe-horn that talking point into everything the say. "Well, we feel that the people of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania will warm up to Senator Obama after the Convention, because, uh...because they don't want another 8 years of George Bush, which is what they would be doing by voting for McCain! That's it! Yeah!". Total, epic fail; there isn't a single elected member of the Republican party that is less aligned ideologically with Bush than John McCain.
Don't be mad because McCain can fly fighter jets and slays a hot-piece heiress every night. Be mad because the Democratic party is marching lock-step towards another defeat courtesy of Obama's cult of personality.
Don't be mad because McCain can fly fighter jets and slays a hot-piece heiress every night. Be mad because the Democratic party is marching lock-step towards another defeat courtesy of Obama's cult of personality.
# posted by : 5/29/2008 3:54 PM
: 5/29/2008 3:54 PM
McCain is totally going to flip out in office ala Tom Skerritt's Viet Nam flashbacks in Up in Smoke
# posted by : 5/29/2008 5:04 PM
: 5/29/2008 5:04 PM
I am not saying all clinton supporters are insane, but it seems that most of the insane support her. These are the people who decided that "periodically" means "menstrually".
I actually started out pretty happy with the "big 3", but am becoming less and less happy with HRC by the minute. Luckily she won't be on the ballot when I vote in November.
I actually started out pretty happy with the "big 3", but am becoming less and less happy with HRC by the minute. Luckily she won't be on the ballot when I vote in November.
# posted by : 5/29/2008 5:26 PM
: 5/29/2008 5:26 PM
How's your economy there, stupid? McCain is deliberately aligning himself with Bush's policies to gain Repug confidence while hiding it from the public. No reporters allowed at the Bush fundraiser. Hmmmm, wonder why?
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