Wednesday, May 07, 2008

 

Daily Douchebag: Sister Julie McGuire


RAZZY Note: I didn't have a picture of Sister Julie, so I just put up some pictures of nuns doing funny stuff.  And yeah, that nun in the last picture looks pretty devout...except for the fact that she's actually Belladonna, recipient of the FAME 2007 "Dirtiest Girl in Porn" award, whose career achievements include extreme proficiency at double anal, shoving baseball bats up her ass, and being one of the only women in the porn industry to deep throat all 11 inches of Lexington Steele's penis.  Just to show you how non-sisterly Belladonna is, here's a fun clip of her getting double fisted by Jenna Haze.

Name: Sister Julie McGuire, CSC

DOB: probably sometime during the Great Depression

Occupation: poll guardian, Roman Catholic nun

Hometown: ??

Current residence: St. Mary's Convent, South Bend, Indiana

Douchebaggery: Yesterday I received an urgent Gchat message from Motherbucker, who does some trash for the Hillary campaign and thus is on top of all things election-related:
Motherbucker: dude
Razzy: sup?
Motherbucker: they're suppressing the mccain vote in indiana
Motherbucker: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gRN59j2QQCVZYwfdLSokUeN1K9hQD90GBCNO0
Motherbucker: you need to stand up for your sisters
I quickly read the article and realized that this so-called "bride of Christ" Sister Julie McGuire, who was running a voting spot, wasn't letting her fellow sisters vote for the hotness known as Senator John McCain (R-AZ) in the Indiana primary because they didn't have valid identification. The ladies did not have the required government-issued ID because they were too old to schlep over to the DMV. Indiana has notoriously strict identification requirements for voters, and thus Sister Julie McGuire denied her convent roomies their right to holler at a straight talking player. I was obviously enraged.
Razzy: DUDE
Razzy: BULLSHIT
Motherbucker: DO SOMETHING!
Razzy: DAILY DOUCHEBAG: SISTER JULIE MCGUIRE!
Motherbucker: lol
Motherbucker: YAY!
Razzy: truly
Razzy: this is bullshit
Razzy: so what if mccain has the nomination locked down
Razzy: count every vote!
Razzy: dude i have all sorts of pictures of nuns with guns and taking bong hits that will be fun
Motherbucker: lol
Motherbucker: that's awesome
Motherbucker: i just think it's hilarious
Motherbucker: that these bitches were like
Motherbucker: "NO. i'm not getting an id. i'm 107."
Motherbucker: go fuck yourself
Razzy: seriously
Razzy: GFY, i'm a bride of christ
I applaud these nuns for saying "fuck you" to what is essentially a poll tax. It's bad enough these poor ladies have sworn off sex and worldly possessions and offered themselves in marriage to Christ. While I'm down with my Lord and Savior JC, I get the feeling that being one of his many celibate wives isn't the most rewarding matrimonial union. You're poor, you never get laid, your deadbeat husband never does anything to help around the house (well, except for that whole dying-for-our-sins thing), you have to wear stupid clothes, and you spend all your time working as a school librarian, choral leader, organist, and/or office assistant. John McCain really needs to speak up for his constituents in Indiana, because these ladies deserve to hobble their osteoporitic old bones into their polling station and actually vote for him. Besides, he needs to keep his divinely-connected supporters happy. Just ask Barack Obama what happens when religious crazies don't get their way. Count the old sisters' votes!

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# posted by Razzy @ 7:02 AM
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