Monday, May 05, 2008

 

Daily Dude I Want to Hit: 1980s Heart


Name: Ann Dustin Wilson and Nancy Lamoreaux Wilson (and a couple other random guys to play the instruments besides Ann and Nancy's respective flute and guitar)

DOB: 1950 and 1954

Occupation: perm connoisseurs, shoulder pad aficionados, rock stars

Hometown: Bellevue, Washington

Current residence: somewhere awesome

Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: The other day I was watching some Vh1 "I Love the 80s" trash that I've seen like 100 times before, and I was validated in watching it yet again, because it reminded me of how much 80s Heart kicked ass.  I was raised on classic rock, so trust that I like me some "Barracuda," "Crazy on You," and "Magic Man," but Heart in the 80s really took it to another level.  As one of the archetypal ugly comedian pop culture pundits on Vh1 said, "Heart used to be Lynyrd Skynyrd chicks, and then all of a sudden they were big hair chicks from New Jersey."

Actually, they were big hair chicks from the P-N-Dub, Bellevue, the snobby Seattle suburb where my friend G-Boner currently resides, to be exact.  And they were AWESOME.  I remember jamming to an almost continuous soundtrack of 80s Heart in my childhood, and I thought that shit rocked then.  For one thing, they were one of the few really famous bands from the P-N-Dub.  In fact, they may have been the ONLY famous musicians apart from Jimi Hendrix when I was a little kid from the pre-grunge P-N-Dub (as much as I'd like to think the nation was jamming to Sir Mix-a-Lot's incomparable Swass CD, I get the distinct impression it was just us Northwesterners).  In any event, it was way better to brag that you came from the same region that produced those chicks who sang "Alone" and "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You" (which, if you listen to the lyrics, is a twisted fucking song) than Robb Weller, self-proclaimed inventor of "The Wave" and host of the game show "Win, Lose, or Draw."  For another, those bitches from Heart had awesome style.

In all their 80s videos, they look like they're rocking out on a set that can best be described as part Anne Rice, part Harlequin romance novel cover, part ladies night at the now-defunct Galaxy Lounge, a Puyallup hotspot down on the banks of its eponymous river by the Fred Meyer and Tiffany's Skating Rink.  Nancy Wilson looks like she spent $39.99 on a spiral perm at Fantastic Sam's, and Ann Wilson looks like she picked her outfits at the Lane Bryant leather and lace clearance rack.  They both look like women in Puyallup do now when they're getting all gussied up for a wild night out at the Emerald Queen Casino.  In other words, they are a couple of hot-ass pieces of trash.  I can even suspend my dislike of fat people to admire the zaftig Ann Wilson, both for her excellence in wardrobe and styling choices, and for her ability to belt out an almost Mariah Carey-esque range of notes.  80s Heart was the hotness.  

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# posted by Razzy @ 5:13 AM
Comments:
Raz- I saw Heart in concert in the wonderous town of Bethlehem, PA 2 summers ago and let's just say they ROCKED it. They played every awesome song imaginable, including a rousing Led Zeppelin medley.

You are spot on with this daily dude. Weeeeeeerd.
# posted by Anonymous Twathopper : 5/05/2008 11:32 AM
 
Ann can still rock, yet she committed the unforgivable sin of getting fat and no one will promote them anymore. That's a shame.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 5/05/2008 11:27 PM
 
crazy on you, good to shag to :) Ann was quite fussy aboot (they lived in Canada) camera angles but who cares t'was a good tune N'est-ce pas?
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 5/06/2008 9:08 AM
 
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