Thursday, May 29, 2008
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Sterling Fryou
RAZZY Note: this is not actually Sterling Fryou, but some other random nutria trapper I found a picture of on the internets. Despite his status as a local parish board member and world-famous bayou critter trapper, Sterling Fryou's handsome grizzled visage is nowhere on the internets I could find. A shame!
DOB: ???-the late 1930s? He's old.
Occupation: nutria trapper
Hometown: Morgan City, Louisiana
Current residence: Morgan City, Louisiana
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: LL Cool Jew and I have taken our nutria obsession to a whole new level: specifically, stalking elderly Cajun nutria trappers on the internets. I swear that when I get down to Louisiana, we are going to eat nutria if we have to trap one ourselves. I even took out an ad on Lafayette, Louisiana's Craigslist searching for nutria jerky, and thus far have gotten no responses. I am getting very frustrated by this.
Razzy: btw, still no hits on craigslist re: the nutria query :(
LL Cool Jew: GUH
Razzy: who knew this shit was so hard to get?
Razzy: i thought there were nutria everywhere!
LL Cool Jew: well here's the thing
LL Cool Jew: i guess people trap and eat
LL Cool Jew: there's not like, a nutria processing plant or anything.
Razzy: the idea of us trapping one is hilarious
Razzy: i'm imagining us traipsing around the bayou
Razzy: you trying to walk in a pair of five-inch heels
Razzy: me freaking out about spiders
LL Cool Jew: no no
LL Cool Jew: i'll be in flip flops for shizzle
Razzy: i don't even know how to "trap" anything
Razzy: the only thing i know about it
Razzy: is that in wa state
Razzy: there are always voter initiatives to "ban cruel traps"
Razzy: i'm all for cruel traps if they lead to nutria consumption!
LL Cool Jew: well if you watch andrew zimmern tonight
LL Cool Jew: you will see that trapping nutria involves a pirogue and a baseball bat
Razzy: right
Razzy: we'd have no problem picking up a louisville slugger
Razzy: but i'm betting you don't have a pirogue at your disposal
LL Cool Jew: you'd be right about that
LL Cool Jew: they are fast and tricksy though
LL Cool Jew: maybe if we played them the bongo bong song...
LL Cool Jew was determined that I should watch the part of "Bizarre Foods" where Andrew Zimmern, big New York queen that he is, goes nutria trapping. That night, she texted "nutria time!" to remind me that it was on right after "Deadliest Catch." I flipped over to the Travel Channel to see Andrew Zimmern getting into a boat with an old Cajun named Sterling Fryou and heading off the nutria trapping grounds. Sterling explains how you need to set nutria traps on the nutria game trails (identifiable because the nutria destroy all vegetation in their path), then hit them on the head with a large stick called "the eliminator." Then Sterling gutted the nutria, brought it back to his trapping shack, and cooked it with some squirrel for Andrew Zimmern, who pronounced it "lean, and not swampy at all."
Razzy: Sterling fryouRazzy: 2 bad u dont have a pirogueLL Cool Jew: or an eliminatorLL Cool Jew: we need 2 contact sterling fryouRazzy: Want nutria!Razzy: Nutriatritious. Bongo bongLL Cool Jew: lean. not swampyLL Cool Jew: hit im in th headRazzy: Must contact fryouLL Cool Jew: sterling is awsm. turduckens up next.Razzy: Im goin 2 bed so i can b fresh 4 the sterling fryou hunt tomorrow
I didn't even need to conduct the Sterling Fryou hunt, since LL Cool Jew got on the internets and discovered that he is a eucharistic minister at St. Andrew's Catholic Church in Amelia, Louisiana. She e-mailed me excitedly:
To: Razzy (razzy@razzy.org)From: LL Cool Jew (llcooljew@dirrtydirrtyhumanitiesgrantgivers.org)http://standrewcentral.org/ministers_schedule.html
The website of St. Andrews Parish Church in Amelia, Louisiana lists the following in its Eucharistic Ministers rotation:
Ministers
Lenwood & Lula Gaduet 631-2315
Joy Gaudet 631-2419
Sterling Fryou 631-2792
Pooch Clements 631-2598
Carol Leger 631-2602
Gilday Gaudet 631-2419
Jeffery & Celeste Pennison 631-9325
Tracy Duval 631-2589
Trevor Benoit 631-0882
Kathy Acosta 631-0887
Teresa Theriot 631-9440
Dianne McAllister 631-2309
Peggy Clements 631-2271
Maybe if Sterling can't help us, Pooch Clements might be able to hook it up.
So now that we've tracked down Sterling Fryou's math, I think it's only a matter of time before I can persuade him to eliminate some nutria on our behalf and stew it for us Cajun-style in his outdoor cooking shack. Or if he's too busy to do that, maybe he can just hook us up with some jerky.
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, Dirrty Dirrty, gluttony, LL Cool Jew, sexy delicious animals
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As a member of Jordan House, owner of your first-year journal, and resident of Lafayette, Louisiana, I must say that you impress me more and more each day.
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