RazzyBlog: Daily Douchebag: feeling bad

Friday, June 27, 2008

Daily Douchebag: feeling bad

Name: acute depression

DOB: the dawn of humanity

Occupation: interfering with my Razzified life

Hometown: deep down inside

Current residence: ubiquitous

Douchebaggery: I've decided that one day was enough time to wallow in my abortion-related depression. Sitting around thinking about how bad you feel is not useful or healthy, and I hate it. Therefore, I limited myself to 24 hours of sitting around feeling sad. As of today, I'm patching up the holes in the levee holding back my Catholic guilt, self-loathing, and general woundedness, giving all of the above the finger, and going back to my normal routine of hating on idiots, getting laid, and being totally awesome in every way. Being sad and depressed totally sucks, and there's no sense sitting around being slowly suffocated when I could reclaim the self that I love. Next week is my friend Wmania's bachelorette party and wedding shower, and I plan to get seriously Razzified for several days (translation: really drunk, hopefully laid, and almost certainly photographed showing my tits and acting the fool with my bitches Wmania, LL Cool Jew, FalloniusMonk, Motherbucker, and ElCyd) in our nation's capital and save the sadness for my shrink. As FalloniusMonk put it, "I declare a fie on douchetardery! Fie, fie!" Depression is serious and lame, and my personal issues aren't going away, but that doesn't mean I have to let them monopolize my thoughts and crush my spirit. I am going to dust myself off and get right back into the saddle of awesomeness like the resilient, indomitable bitch I know I am. Fuck you, feeling bad!

Labels: Daily Douchebag, defiance, Razzification