Monday, June 16, 2008
Daily Douchebag: Tila Tequila
DOB: October 24, 1981
Occupation: MySpace and reality TV whore
Hometown: Alief, Texas via Singapore via Vietnam
Current residence: Hollywood, California
Douchebaggery: The other day, Tila Tequila was enjoying all the perks of being a Q-list media whore, like tickets to the premiere of The Love Guru. While walking the red carpet alongside luminaries like Verne Troyer and the Stanley Cup, Tila decided to take credit for the California Supreme Court's recent decision to legalize gay marriage.
“It is because of me. I definitely think (my show) has helped the movement,” Tequila told Us Weekly at the Hollywood premiere of “The Love Guru” on Wednesday.Yes, I am sure that while deliberating the finer nuances of constitutional law in their chambers, the highest court in America's most populous state tipped the scales in gay marriage's favor by watching a bunch of trashy strippers wrestle in a vat of pudding in hope of winning the chance to swap herpes lesion exudate with MySpace's skankiest faux bisexual on "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." I'm sure that watching Tila climbing into a communal bed with a troupe of pole-rubbing hoochies or giving lap dances to their dear old grandmas really mitigated any apprehension about the consequences of letting the homos file joint tax returns and or having the same spousal rights as those afforded to heterosexual married couples. Clearly, California's Supreme Court justices realized how discriminatory it is to prevent gay people the same legal status as their heterosexual counterparts thanks to being titillated by an exploitative shitshow that uses Tila's supposed lesbian tendencies as an excuse for an unabashedly fame-starved slut to make out with girls on TV. The queers of California are in your fucking debt, Tila Tequila.
“Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about (same sex relationships),” she said. “Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, (gay marriage) is legal.”
Seriously, who the fuck does this dumb slag think she is? First off, Tila's original "Shot at Love" ended with her choosing the dude to get with over Dani, the Floridian firefighter who had all my superfemme lesbian friends in a huge tizzy over her Converse-Izod chic sexiness. Second, rumor has it that Tila Tequila isn't even gay. I believe this, because not only did she dump the aforementioned Dani (who was WAY less douchetastic than the guy Tila chose and promptly ditched in order to secure a second season of unrealistic reality sluttery on MTV), she acts like she's bored with all the girls on the show all the time and never presses her advantage to get some poon. Kissing girls is no big deal, and almost every girl I know has done it at one point or another. It's a given that Tila is an infamous slut, so one would think that if she's really bisexual, tuna tacos would be on the menu every night at the "Shot at Love" house. If I were in Tila's shoes with 30 girls and boys all trying to get with me, I'd be the world's most voracious seafood and sausage aficionado, but Tila doesn't do much besides smooch and act like she's some sort of sophisticated dignitary who just happens to wear lucite stilettos with pleather midriff-baring strapless minidresses and enjoys making her suitors compete in sexually charged "Double Dare"-esque physical challenges for her affections.
Tila Tequila needs to stick with what she knows, specifically, picking tacky dresses off the clearance rack at Rave that showcase her cheaply augmented tits and maintaining her dominance of the MySpace whore circuit. She is not doing ANYTHING for the gay marriage movement except associating it unfairly with vapid attention-craving tramps like herself. I have one word for Tila Tequila, and that is STFU!
Labels: Daily Douchebag, lezbollah, media whores, MySpace, retard rage, scathing indictments, sluts, TV
Comments:
Links to this post:
<< Home
God, that little bitch is the most fake thing I think I have ever seen, only complete naive idiots would even think that she liked chicks or even guys, because that whore is in love with herself and that's about it. To think that some dumbfuck show on MTV was influencing politicians on an important issue shows that this little girlie has no fucking idea that a world even exists outside of her fake ass or even cares that one does. I know that they have some real good weed over Vietnam way, and maybe this bitch is doing an ounce of that or so a day and this would explain her delusional hallucinatory state of mind.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
<< Home
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
