Friday, July 18, 2008
Daily Douchebag: Bravo
DOB: December 1, 1980
Occupation: keeping me uninformed of important developments in TV
Hometown: New York, New York
Current residence: channel 18 on NYC Time Warner Cable
Douchebaggery: I just realized that a new season of "Project Runway" started this week! How did this happen without my noticing it? Oh wait...I know. Bravo has had a bunch of craptastic shows they've been advertising all over the subways ("Date My Ex," "Shear Genius," etc.), but NOTHING about PROJECT FUCKING RUNWAY?!?! Isn't "Project Runway" their biggest show? How can they not spend their entire marketing budget reminding me that Michael Kors is returning to tell designers that their model looks like she's wrapped in a black velvet condom or it looks like a Thanksgiving pageant exploded all over her ass? How can they not inform me that Nina Garcia will act like a designer is a Nazi war criminal because they dressed a model in a cowl-neck sweater? How can they forget to give me a heads up that Tim Gunn will use words like "zaftig" and "ebullient" that the vocabulary-challenged contestants blink at in confusion? How can they neglect to tell me that Heidi Klum will be gearing up to deliver her trademark "eder yau're in or yau're aut" line?
Possibly part of the problem is that after this season, "Project Runway" is saying "auf wiedersehn" to Bravo and moving to the Lifetime network, and Bravo is bitter. I understand they probably want to pimp their new programming so people will want to watch Bravo once "Project Runway" departs, and they can't show "Top Chef" all year long. Still, I would think Bravo would want to milk their biggest cash cow one last time and would at least put up a stray ad advising me that a new season of "Project Runway" is back to bust a nut all over channel 18 one last time. No wonder Lifetime swooped in and stole "Project Runway;" Bravo gets a big fat FAIL for handling their business. At least they'll have eight zillion reruns of the premiere episode I missed so I can watch my man Michael Kors open a can of super bitchiness all over the would-be designers who don't make "really great shorts."
Labels: Daily Douchebag, Project Runway, TV
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