Friday, July 18, 2008
Daily Dude I Want to Hit: the Minnesota Vikings
DOB: September 27, 1960
Occupation: evil scheming against the Green Bay Packers
Hometown: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Current residence: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Why I Want to Hit that Hotness: I was getting really sick of hearing about text messages Brett Favre was sending the Packers' general manager and his "itch" to play and his whining that he was pressured to retire. I'm sick of Brett Favre and I think he should spend his remaining years driving around on his John Deere in Mississippi and not bothering anybody rather than throwing interceptions and sending John Madden into paroxysms of sanguine man love. I really don't want to hear him bitching about how mean the Packers are for not releasing him and not guaranteeing him a starting position. However, I perked up when I read that Brett Favre may have illegally been chit-chatting about a possible contract with the Minnesota Vikings and the Packers are now PISSED.
Brett Favre is still technically on the Packers' roster, which means that he's not allowed to covertly talk about playing for the Vikes (or any other NFL team, for that matter) with members of their coaching staff. The Packers apparently believe that this was a clever ploy by the Vikings to cause chaos and drama among the Cheeseheads while they are trying to build a Favre-free offense around the unremarkable Aaron Rodgers, and they're grievance-filing mad about it. The NFL has launched an investigation into the tampering charges brought by the Packers. The Vikings aren't commenting, except to say that Tarvaris Jackson is still their starting quarterback and coach Brad Childress thinks the whole thing is a "soap opera."
If the Packers' charges are true, though, then I give the Vikings mad props for coming up with a scheme worthy of an Aaron Spelling drama to fuck with their NFC divisional rivals. Who knew that Brad Childress was an evil plotter as well as a freakish Major Dad doppelganger? I actually thought he was kind of dumb, since half the Vikings roster hates on him to the media whenever possible and he seems determined to underuse Adrian Peterson. I guess his failures to earn the respect of his players and consistently make successful offensive play calls are symptomatic of his devoting most of his time to execute sneaky cabals exploiting the Packers' Favre-related vulnerabilities. He should just move to Melrose Place and change his name to Amanda Woodward already. I have newfound respect for the Minnesota Vikings for their backroom Brett Favre-mediated trickery. Go Vikes!
Labels: Daily Dude I Want to Hit, I LOVE IT, NFL football, sportsmen
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