Sunday, September 14, 2008
NFL Field Pass isn't going to help you here
I was just doing my usual Sunday morning last minute NFL catch-up before finalizing my Fantasy roster and heading off to my regular bar in the Village of the West. I was reading some article about how Kerry Collins is making his 15th comeback as a NFL starter to replace Vince Young in Tennessee and was snickering to myself about how all of a sudden veteran backups are in vogue. Pat Kirwin seems to think Matt Cassel is a disaster waiting to happen, but that (Puyallup native) Damon Huard, Kerry Collins, and Brian Griese are going to turn the Chiefs, Titans, and Bucs into offensive powerhouses. I was distracted from jokes I was making in my head about the Patriots jumping on board the grizzled old QB bandwagon and signing Vinny Testaverde when I noticed the ad on the side of the page that turned my smile into a really, really, REALLY pissed-off frown. The ad was touting NFL Field Pass, the NFL's online radio broadcast-on-demand service, for fans who live away from their team's city. I have to say, they couldn't have picked a better example of a fan living in a city downright hostile to his team:
If you are a fan of the Shitsburgh Stealers residing in the 253, 206, or 360 area codes, then you have bigger problems than not being able to hear your games broadcast on local sports radio. I've heard a couple people say things like, "Oh, there are hardly any Seahawks fans. Nobody cares about the Seahawks." NOT TRUE. In the glorious P-N-Dub, people are obsessed with the Seahawks. We fly the 12th man flag atop the Space Needle, the Tacoma Dome, and any other imposing structure we can think of. People travel from Canada and Oregon to go to Seahawks games. Qwest Field is consistently at capacity and full of Hawks fans in their full regalia. The Rainier flows as freely as the rain the Pacific Northwest is famous for. We invest large sums of money in jerseys no matter how dire the season (I own a BROCK HUARD jersey, for God's sake) and neon green Deion Branch gloves and beer cozies and every other bit of Seahawks crap you can think of. And if there is one team we uniformly HATE in Seattle, it's the fucking Steelers because of their CLEARLY rigged victory in Super Bowl XL. Granted, they won mostly because of bad penalty calling, but it's a lot easier to hate the Steelers than Bill Leavy and his crew of inept officials. Besides, the Steelers were assholes about it! They acted like they actually won fairly, rather than reaped the benefits of fake touchdowns given to Ben Roethlisberger and legitimate touchdowns taken from the Seahawks thanks to phantom offensive pass interference calls.
If you are the dude in the above ad, you better thank God you can listen to NFL Field Pass in the comfort of your own home, because there's no way you are walking out among the Washingtonians with your Steelers laptop dressed in your generic Steelers jersey and wielding your giant black-and-yellow foam finger. Venturing out in public like that would virtually guarantee that some Vitamin R-swilling 12th men probably whip your ass mercilessly with your own Terrible Towel, especially if you dared do so outside the city limits of the comparatively more pussified, politically correct Seattle proper. In my hometown of Puyallup, for example, daring to wear such an outfit at the Roadhouse Tavern would probably ensure that some scowling pick up-driving redneck would drag you away from the pull-tab bar to give you a vicious beatdown in the privacy of the outdoor smoking shelter. At the very least, some Seahawks loyalist would spit on your food. If you are a Steelers fan in Seattle, how about rather than subscribing to NFL Field Pass, you GO BACK TO FUCKING PITTSBURGH?!
Labels: NFL football, P-N-Dub, retard rage, Stealers suck
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If I ever see that fucker in Seattle I'm ordering a hit on his ass! He needs to take his ref-paying off ass and team back to Shittsburgh where he belongs!
jj
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jj
# posted by 
: 9/14/2008 10:20 AM
: 9/14/2008 10:20 AM Links to this post:
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