Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Blog Action Day 2008: Ending (Razzy's) poverty
Last night, I was logging in to the website that tracks my statistics for me, and for some reason decided to click over to their blog. Probably because while getting my internets Razzification on I was watching Monday Night Football, and listening to Tony Kornheiser hollering at Ron Jaworski half-assedly about a lengthy illustrated montage celebrating Gus Frerotte's storied career makes me mildly crazy. I was irritated to see that the people who run my free statistic-tracking service are a bunch of annoying e-do gooders participating in something called "Blog Action Day."
Not only does Blog Action Day sound like one of the least active forms of obnoxious ineffective philanthropy the bloggers of the internets could engage in, it sounds like a complete and total waste of time. Most of the blogs that will participate probably have even fewer readers than the five of you who come here for your daily dose of (so awesome it rocks your face off) useless bullshit, so it's not like they're going to bring a lot of attention to the problem of poverty.
While I deeply empathize with those suffering from its effects (as making less than $30,000 a year in New York City certainly allows me to count myself among the ranks of the destitute), there's a reason why the Blogosphere was not consulted when Congress had to bail out the highest priority group of the impoverished: Wall Street. Bloggers are all poor as fuck and they don't know shit about ending poverty! Even many of the successful ones hardly make any money from their websites. Pick a random blog author and ask how much they make with their online venture. They are doing exceptionally well if they can even pay their utility bills with their blogging profits. Certainly all these bloggers can draw attention to the issue just by writing their own life story, but if they knew the first thing about ending poverty, they wouldn't be fucking poor. The last thing these fools are going to do is somehow end poverty at the fucking FED by writing "poverty is just aweful and shud end NOW lol!" blog posts, thus stimulating the economy, increasing employment, and reducing the welfare rolls all around.
However, Blog Action Day can benefit at least one person in the financial department. It might not do much in terms of meaningful action to end poverty, but at least it creates a great opportunity for me. While all the other sources of useless bullshit across the internets are writing about how society can end the proliferation of beggarly types, I'll write about something totally different, like threesomes or Red Dawn or R. Kelly. Then when everyone is bored of reading banal post after banal post about poverty, they'll all come to RAZZY.org to read about whatever awesome alternative I feel like blabbing about, a few of them will click my useless "FIND SINGLE PEOPLE AGES 18-84 TO FUCK NOW!!!!!!!!" text ads, and I'll totally get a check for $10 instead of $5 for October. By NOT writing about poverty on October 15th, I'll be taking meaningful action to ameliorate poverty...my own poverty. Thank you for the opportunity to capitalize on everyone else's misguided and ineffective sense of altruism, Blog Action Day!
Labels: capitalism, down with OPB (other people's blogs), internet domination
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Maybe you should blog, not ON threesomes, but rather while engaging in one. Or - as that might be logisticallty difficult, if not outright rude - blog while watching one. It always puzzles me, incidentally, that newspaper websites seem to think that having one of their fearless reporters sitting on his couch and blogging during a sporting evert that is readily availible on TV will bring hits to the ol' website. Who would read a live blog on an event you could watch?
However, the live kinky sex blog - THAT will bring the hits. Well, bring the hits AND prime people to click the 'I wanna find a fuck buddy NOW!' link. A perfect marriage of debauched and useful. You should look into it.
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However, the live kinky sex blog - THAT will bring the hits. Well, bring the hits AND prime people to click the 'I wanna find a fuck buddy NOW!' link. A perfect marriage of debauched and useful. You should look into it.
# posted by 
: 10/07/2008 5:26 PM
: 10/07/2008 5:26 PM Links to this post:
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