Monday, July 06, 2009

 

And they say romance is dead

I was busy celebrating America's birthday with my dearest college pals LL Cool Jew and Wmania this weekend in San Francisco, so I wasn't really paying attention to my text messages until we left the party we attended and got back to Wmania's condo.  Once there I noticed that one of my honeys back in the P-N-Dub had undoubtedly been watching all the many exploding fireworks and naturally thought of me, and sent me a text sharing his feelings.  What followed was an exchange of brief messages so romantic and sentimental they make The Notebook look like it's about a one-night stand.  And not a nice, respectful type of one-night stand either, but the kind of drunken, why-the-hell-did-I-bone-this-idiot one-night stand where you say you have to go see a guy about a thing immediately afterward, use his shirt to wipe the jizz off your chest without asking or thanking him, run the fuck out of there, and then put him on permanent send-to-voicemail status.

Anyway, this series of texts is way, WAY more romantic than any of that.  I wouldn't be surprised if the fine folks over at Harlequin Publishing hit me up asking me to write a book with Fabio lording over a heaving bosom on the cover based on these texts, because they are just that beautiful.  Cue the violins:
Dude: Hey Razzy?
Razzy: Yes Dude?
Dude: I want to put my wiener in your vagina.
Razzy: Well duh.
Dude: I was trying to sweet talk you.
Razzy: Mission accomplished.  You better pen me in tomorrow, because I missed choking on your dick all weekend.
Dude: Oh I'll pencil you in all night long, if you know what I mean.
Jealous?  It's okay...I know that every girl dreams of one day sharing drunken texts with a silver-tongued Prince Charming of her very own.  Maybe, just maybe, if you drink enough scotch and sodas and add enough random pieces of dick to your stable, you too can live the dream, single ladies, and start receiving poetic sentiments such as these.  Dream big! 

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Comments:
At what age do you think you'll finally tire of this? I mean, you're well past 30, and yet you seem to believe you're still in your early 20's. Will you be so cocksure when the great majority of your kidult crew finally grows up and leaves you to dredge the bottom of these social encounters alone? Indeed, while you may see this episode as a validation of your desirability, this gentleman's advances could be the indication that this has already begun. Its going to get ugly sooner than you think, but it should be fun to watch.
 
Its going to get ugly sooner than you think, but it should be fun to watch.

I'm with you, Anonymous. Anyone who doesn't live their life in a way you approve of deserves nothing but misery.
 
Although anonymous is rude in the way he describes it, there is a little bit of truth to it. Eventually all of your friends will grow up and go their own ways raising families, etc, while you may find yourself at 50 years old still screwing boys half your age. Every single guy wants a slut they can count on to dump their loads into, but NO MAN wants a long term relationship with a woman all of his buddies have tagged.

2 cents
 
Razzy wouldn't be getting these kinds of comments if she were a man.

2 cents.
 
Wait, I'm going to avoid being saddled with a brood of detestable children and bored out of my mind by monogamy, only to grow up to regularly fuck guys half my age and not have to share my money with some non-"kidult" snorefest of a spouse?

Sounds pretty good to me.
 
Every single guy wants a slut they can count on to dump their loads into, but NO MAN wants a long term relationship with a woman all of his buddies have tagged.

Somebody sure sounds insecure! I've had a couple of very good relationships with women who had screwed several of my friends and preferred to be with me, for multiple reasons. What's your problem? Worried about measuring up to the competition?

I read RazzyBlog because I'm intrigued by a woman with a functioning brain and a functioning cunt who likes to stimulate both of them.
 
Wait, I'm going to avoid being saddled with a brood of detestable children and bored out of my mind by monogamy, only to grow up to regularly fuck guys half my age and not have to share my money with some non-"kidult" snorefest of a spouse?

You had me at "saddled with a brood of detestable children." Though that may be redundant, as all children are detestable.

All of them.

Yes, even that one.

--B
 
No matter what you may think of Dr. Razzy, if there is anyone that could do that cougar stuff as long as she wished it is her. She is always going to have a good job and the money that goes with it, and the fact that she seems so determined to be one of those cougars means that she could actually have a good time with it as long as she wanted to. Not a lot of chicks get to do that, so if it is what she wants to do, she should go right ahead and do it. If you are anxious to see her downfall and destruction, I don't think that this will bring that about, there are other factors that are much more likely to do that to her in the future.
 
My original post was not about the advantages, desirability, or moral superiority of monogamy, matrimony, children, and a conventional lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with casual sex. My point was, now that you're getting older, do you not find your behavior more than a little immature vis-a-vis the lifestyles of your peers? We've all seen that 40+ year-old barfly that everybody's fat buddy picks up as the lights come on. Is that who you're gunning to be? You're a smart girl - maybe a lot of serious therapy is in order?
 
yeah, like level 80 blood elves.
 
Mugatroyd, dude, you got it all wrong. I'm not concerned with measuring up to my buddies, but I certainly don't want my buddies to ask, "hey does she do that thing with her tongue where she cups your balls, etc.....?"
Sorry if I don't like to compare sexual notes with my friends on a girl I'm married to."

2 cents
 
I certainly don't want my buddies to ask, "hey does she do that thing with her tongue where she cups your balls, etc.....?"
Sorry if I don't like to compare sexual notes with my friends on a girl I'm married to."


3 questions for 2 cents:

What makes you think Dr. Razzy would marry you or anyone else?

What sort of friends do you have who would ask questions like that?

Don't you think that anyone wo would ask that sort of question is a little too much like this?
 
Before anyone takes him seriously, it should be noted that "Master Uunderground" is a 40-ish, basement-dwelling Trevor perv who has a very creepy website devoted to his insane ramblings and porn. It is also possible that the last time he actually felt a vagina was when he was coming out of one. I know his disjointed prose probably tipped most of you off to his dysfunction, but just in case it didn't, know that whatever he says should be taken with a significant quantity of salt.
 
Wait, someone was taking Master Underground seriously?
 
hey - hands of the master, don't hate the player, hate the game!
 
But what if the game's really old? Like Atari 2600 old?
 
First of all, TAFKAMA, thank you very much for the kind words, you are seriously fucking cool, and I see what Dr. Razzy thinks so highly of you.
Secondly, as always, any little pussy wimp that has to be "anonymous" in a forum where no one really knows you anyway is meaningless. You cannot even comprehend the topics I speak of, as you are so afraid of everything that you cannot speak out against anything unless it is anonymous comments made to people you don't even know. I see that you were beating off again to the porn pics and saw 1 that made you lose your boner so you cry at me, without ever figuring out that I set it up that way to laugh at dorks like you. At least I am honest about things and don't hide, which is more than can be said for you, someone that wastes their employer's time reading Dr. Razzy's blog all day long.
Lastly, the fact is that Dr. Razzy is perfectly suited to be a cougar because if she does end up banging dudes way younger than her in the future ( as I am sure she will), it will be situations where she is the one in charge and control, and won't end up with another RS situation, one where she almost got seriously harmed if not killed. Those kind of situations where she is in control are what she has needed all along, her biggest mistake has been getting in ones where that has not been the case, and she has gotten burned from that again and again. Since she just finished school like weeks ago, it is understandable that she would want to reap the rewards of all that work for a long time to come, and banging young studs seems to be a part of that, so more power to her. Also, if you have really been paying attention to what goes on here, The Doctor's friends are not going to abandon her at all, they have said as much so I doubt that she is ever going to end up like that anonymous pussy ass said.
 
Secondly, as always, any little pussy wimp that has to be "anonymous" in a forum where no one really knows you anyway is meaningless.

You can't say that for certain, as you don't know what the goal of said "little pussy wimp" is.

For all we know, our anonymous friend could be one of the named folk here posting anonymously to stir up amusement and/or trouble.
 
Actually Brother Dave, you are correct, the goal here is to start shit, specifically, to be publicly upbraided and embarrassed and shit because that is how he/she/it and others like that get off so I think I need to cool it and stop giving fuckwads like that what they want, after all, this is not The Mistresses' Dungeon on Saturday night and it is not fair to the others around here to be forced to deal with it, after all, I don't need to be wasting my time on losers like that anyway.
 
(Note: unrelated anonymous)

You are all fucking ridiculous.

Razzy: Enjoy your fucking. You've earned it, as always (not that you really need to earn it, who wouldn't want to put their weiner in your vagina?).

(A lot of people comment anonymously, like me, because we're too lazy to deal with coming up with or typing in a name and don't comment often enough to really warrant it.)
 
Holly shit, this "Master Underground" guy is an absolute psycho. I haven't heard a rant that nutty since Nuremberg in '39. I bet his basement looks like Buffalo Bill's labyrinth. "It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again!"
 
#1. Master Underground is a creep.
#2. How Razzy chooses to live her life, is her decision and no one elses. Whether she's married w/kids (oh, the horror!) at 50, or getting her cougar on at the local pub, I am quite certain that she will be content with her life because she will have knowingly and willingly made all of the decisions that will have brought her to that point.
#3. If Razzy was a dude, none of this would even be talked about.
#4. GO GET YOURS GIRL!!!
 
If Razzy was a dude, none of this would even be talked about.


Then please explain all the crap in our society about what "real men" do or don't do.
 
Wow, that turned into a whole big thing, didn't it?
 
this is so gay!
 
@"If Razzy were a dude this wouldn't even be talked about"

Because every young woman dreams of meeting a prince who's bagged as many women as Razzy's thighs have rolls of cellulite.

When did aspiring to become a nasty-ass skank become something to be admired instead of derided? I don't care what sex you are: Your dirty dick/vagoo isn't appealing.

What's more, the fact that you are a 30 something christ-fag who claims to hate children yet bemoans the loss of your poor aborted fetus every chance you get is just the cherry on the fucking crazy cake. Fail and AIDS.
 
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