Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Screw U2, says Dublin. I heart Dublin, says me
I laughed scornfully today when I read an article about how U2's tour promoters were crying about being behind schedule on their European tour because their very own countrymen were fed up with their bullshit. Specifically, they were pissed that after three shows at Ireland's largest stadium, local residents were treated to some around-the-clock raucous related to dismantling their elaborate stage set-up. Therefore they decided to protest, and as a result, the "more than 50 trucks carrying much of the band's 390-ton stage, TV screens, lighting, and sound equipment missed their intended morning ferry." Consequently, the tour manager has noted, "It affects the tour schedule."
Oh, NO!!!! Now the rest of Europe might have to wait a day or two before they can plunk down their $250 to watch a gigantic Blackberry ad. Maybe Bono can do something about this. After all, he is singlehandedly solving Africa's poverty, political upheaval, and AIDS crises. However, when reached for comment after just stepping down from his private jet in Nice, France, Africa's savior sent his PR flunky out to throw down some bullshit about how the band feels "pure disappointment. It's just really put a damp squib (that is Irish for sponge, not a person with non-magical abilities born to wizarding stock) on something that was a fantastic experience and a fantastic show." He forgot to add, "It's treasonous for anyone of Irish heritage to disrupt, piss off, disappoint, mock, disparage, or otherwise speak in non-reverent tones about U2, and these freedom haters will be summarily labeled enemy combatants and sent to the Irish equivalent of Gitmo. Well, if such a thing existed anyway."
Clearly Bono, The Edge, and whatever other stupidly-named Irishmen are in U2 are devastated. However, Bono is mostly likely taking life's lemons and using them to make lemonade for those legions of starving, AIDS-ridden Africans he likes to lecture everyone about. Or maybe just being so incredibly disappointed that he can barely enjoy any of the earthly delights the French riviera has to offer. This is clearly what an extremely depressed megalomaniac with delusions of messianic grandeur looks like:
Poor Bono. I guess he'll have to drown his sorrows in a combination of sanctimonious lectures about the excesses of the developed world and some random Katy Perry-meets-Zoey Deschanel cooze. I mean, Bono knows hard times, and nothing is harder than depriving continental Europe of halfassed, corporate-retooled performances of "With or Without You" and "One." Oh, the humanity!
Clearly Bono, The Edge, and whatever other stupidly-named Irishmen are in U2 are devastated. However, Bono is mostly likely taking life's lemons and using them to make lemonade for those legions of starving, AIDS-ridden Africans he likes to lecture everyone about. Or maybe just being so incredibly disappointed that he can barely enjoy any of the earthly delights the French riviera has to offer. This is clearly what an extremely depressed megalomaniac with delusions of messianic grandeur looks like:
Poor Bono. I guess he'll have to drown his sorrows in a combination of sanctimonious lectures about the excesses of the developed world and some random Katy Perry-meets-Zoey Deschanel cooze. I mean, Bono knows hard times, and nothing is harder than depriving continental Europe of halfassed, corporate-retooled performances of "With or Without You" and "One." Oh, the humanity!
In other news, I still totally hate the shit out of U2. The protestors in Dublin get a Razzy Medal of Service to Humanity for disrupting the well-greased wheels of dickbaggery. Well played, Croke Park neighborhood coalitions.
Labels: assholes, international intrigue, media whores, retard rage, scathing indictments
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A squib is something like a small firecracker, not a sponge.
Also, I miss the old days of Razzy :( I waited two weeks and got half-hearted posts about Bono and K-Fed.
Where is the shenanigans? Where is the vitriol?
Also, I miss the old days of Razzy :( I waited two weeks and got half-hearted posts about Bono and K-Fed.
Where is the shenanigans? Where is the vitriol?
# posted by 
: 7/28/2009 7:27 PM
: 7/28/2009 7:27 PM
Hello there Razzy! I enjoyed reading your blog very much. You sound absolutely adorable. I agree about the U2 diamonds. how much more money do those bastards need? I will be back to read more of your posts. I dont expect to come back just to see you nude! Your writing is fantastic! Have a great morning there.
Sincerely,
Bob
Sincerely,
Bob
# posted by : 8/05/2009 12:08 AM
: 8/05/2009 12:08 AM
My comment is about the whole of your posts. People with this blend of insight and audacity are rare, and among those the percentage not silenced or ignored is rarer still. The task of all thinking people should be to find ways to put more influence in the hands of people like you. Whether they lean right or left, everyone benefits from a lucid (and fearless) voice. More power to you.
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# posted by : 10/21/2009 8:12 PM
: 10/21/2009 8:12 PM Links to this post:
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