Friday, September 11, 2009
Here's your 9/11 present
Okay, first off, I'm not even going to make excuses for being so absent and causing you all to feel such great pain and abandonment. I've somehow managed to acquire one these–ahem–boyfriends, and I've been busy getting laid constantly. Oh, and working a lot too. So I apologize, as I know the Razzyphiles have suffered great neglect and most of you were probably contemplating going the Sylvia Plath route. My bad, dudes.
Anyway, I am going to be better about blogging more regularly and I thought there's no better way to do so than by wishing you all a very merry 9/11. And apparently the terror squad (the muhajadeen catchers, not Fat Joe's rap cartel) decided to give us a present this year! They managed to nab the Taliban's PR guy, Muslim Khan, thus striking a terrible blow against the terrorists' ability to deliver do-it-yourself crazy anti-Western manifestos.
I can see why the loss of Muslim Khan is probably devastating to the Taliban's whole program, since he's done such a capital job of promoting them in the international press. I mean, what if people actually stop thinking that they are murderous, misogynistic terrorists with large teacup collections? Image management skills like Muslim Khan's are hard to come by, especially when you're wandering around Pakistan in some rattletrap convoy of assault rifles and RPGs, tea services, and Arabian night-style tents trying to find some permanent stronghold like a big troupe of militant jihadist Joads. So have fun looking like a bunch of total assholes on Al-Jazeera, stupid dumb Taliban guys! USA! U! S! A!
Labels: crime and punishment, excuses, international intrigue, terror, United States of Asskickery
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Finally you are back! I must admit I almost gave up on you Razzy. I thought for awhile that you might have died or been a serious accident or something. My biggest concern is, why, if you cannot blog, why cannot these so called "contributor" friends of yours not fill in for you? What if something really did happen to you, who would let us know. I'm dissappointed in your choice of friends Razzy.
Even worse, I'm very dissappointed that you now have a "boyfriend". Does this mean that you will show some cooth and not actually share with us readers your sexual conquests and expolits? I was so looking forward to some serious smut when you finally came back to us.
And last but not least, I have been holding out that someday I would accidently (no I'm not a stalker) run into you in a Seattle bar sometime and actually hook up with you for the night. I thought maybe you would me, an avid reader, a bone (pun intended) for remaining so loyal. You are still on my top five list of "things to do before I die". If you have a boyfriend this narrowly slims down my chances of that ever happening. I'm so sad.
jj
Even worse, I'm very dissappointed that you now have a "boyfriend". Does this mean that you will show some cooth and not actually share with us readers your sexual conquests and expolits? I was so looking forward to some serious smut when you finally came back to us.
And last but not least, I have been holding out that someday I would accidently (no I'm not a stalker) run into you in a Seattle bar sometime and actually hook up with you for the night. I thought maybe you would me, an avid reader, a bone (pun intended) for remaining so loyal. You are still on my top five list of "things to do before I die". If you have a boyfriend this narrowly slims down my chances of that ever happening. I'm so sad.
jj
# posted by 
: 9/11/2009 1:16 PM
: 9/11/2009 1:16 PM
Ummm obsessed much? If I were Razzy I'd be running in the other direction from stalker creeps like this guy. I mean, "five things to do before I die"? Guess what most chicks don't like being called things, nor being put on a "to do" list. Razzy, keep your eyes peeled for a desperate lurker on the Seattle bar scene and make sure you RUN the other direction if you see him.
Yeah, also glad you're back though. The interweb isn't the same without you.
Yeah, also glad you're back though. The interweb isn't the same without you.
# posted by : 9/11/2009 1:56 PM
: 9/11/2009 1:56 PM
Welcome back, Razzy! Glad things are OK... was a bit worried. The Razzification withdrawal heaves have now stopped for a little while...
Big Fan
Big Fan
# posted by : 9/11/2009 9:47 PM
: 9/11/2009 9:47 PM
Congrats on the new boyfriend Razz! I hope he makes you as happy or more so than the random hookups (because isn't that the point?). Honestly, I've been very much missing the massive amounts of biting sarcasm and straight out hilarious criticism that you bring into my life. Glad to have you back!
# posted by : 9/12/2009 9:05 AM
: 9/12/2009 9:05 AM
A real present would be a new pic of your breasts. the bf can be the photog.
# posted by : 9/16/2009 8:58 PM
: 9/16/2009 8:58 PM
Razzy...we are so lonely without you! Are you okay?
I'm with jj on this...can't your fellow contibutors at least pen a line telling us you are (hopefully!) so happy with life that you have decided to no longer blog? You've given us so much laughter over the years that I think only the most mean-spirited amongst your followers wouldn't be happy for you. If things with you are NOT going okay - well, maybe we can help?
ap
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I'm with jj on this...can't your fellow contibutors at least pen a line telling us you are (hopefully!) so happy with life that you have decided to no longer blog? You've given us so much laughter over the years that I think only the most mean-spirited amongst your followers wouldn't be happy for you. If things with you are NOT going okay - well, maybe we can help?
ap
# posted by : 10/21/2009 12:51 AM
: 10/21/2009 12:51 AM Links to this post:
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